[in progress] As hearts collide {chicklit}

Chapter eighteen - double date?

I woke the next morning with a searing headache. Unable to lift my head or open more than half an eye without my brain feeling like it was being stabbed with a thousand needles, I groaned and closed them again.
"First proper hangover?" Alex said, his voice deeper first thing in the morning.
"My head hurts" I whined. He kissed my shoulder affectionately and I felt him get out of bed. I could hear him rummaging in the bathroom, returning moments later.
"Here you go, take these."
I opened my eyes to see him standing next to the bed with a glass of water and what looked to be two paracetamols.
"Thank you." I said gratefully, slowly sitting up and taking them from him.
"You relax in bed, I'll pop out and get us some breakfast." He said, walking across the room to put on clothes.
I swallowed the tablets and turned up my nose, my stomach baulking at the thought. "Urgh, I can't even think about eating right now."
"I know, but you need to eat something. Rest up and I'll be back soon." Alex soothed, as he dressed. I took his advice, laying back down to sleep a little longer.

The sound of the door woke me a little later, and I was pleased to find that my head was no longer throbbing, and I felt more comfortable.
"Hey," Alex said, quietly as he closed the door, "sorry if I woke you."
"It's ok, I was getting up anyway." I said, sitting up and pulling the covers around me, acutely aware that I wasn't wearing anything under the duvet.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Much better, thank you." Alex's smile was infectious, and I couldn't help but return it.
"I come bearing goodies, do you feel like you can eat now?"
The smell of delicious foods filled the air and my stomach growled at the thought.
"Definitely, I'm starving."
Alex chuckled and opened the bag to reveal a couple of breakfast sandwiches, some orange juice and two coffees.
"Oh my gosh, you're a lifesaver!" I cried, gratefully accepting the items.
He grinned before taking his own out of the wrapper and taking a bite. We sat there eating in comfortable silence for a little while.
"So, how are you feeling... about everything? I know you have a habit of overthinking things..." Alex said, his expression nervous.
"I'm fine, it feels... I don't know, normal?" I said, trying to put my feelings into words.
He grinned before taking another bite of his sandwich, but his eyes did not deviate from me. "Well, I am delighted. It feels like birthday and Christmas rolled into one!" He joked. I giggled and threw a pillow at him, almost knocking the sandwich out of his hand. "Oi!" he shouted, which made me laugh even more.

When we finished the sandwiches, Alex leant over and kissed me briefly on the lips, making my insides tingle. "What shall we do today?" he asked, gently tucking a stray stand of hair behind my ears.
I thought for a moment. "I'm not sure... I really don't want to go on the double date later-"
"Then let's forget it! We'll do our own thing today, just you and me."
I groaned. "But what about how things were left with Jim yesterday? Don't you want to make up with him?"
Alex shrugged. "Right now, Em, I really don't care. I'm just so happy I'm with you., I'm not bothered about much else. Though I guess we could use the date as our chance to tell him about us."
"Us?" I asked, confused. Ok, yes, we'd slept together, but did Jim really need to know? After everything, I was worried he might take it badly.
"Yes, us. You know, you and me, me and you..."
"Yeah, I know who we are... but don't you think telling him we slept together after the drama that unfolded last night just looks bad? Does he really need to know?"
Alex looked at me for a moment, as if trying to figure me out.
"...Slept together? Is that all you think this is? After everything you said last night, I thought..."
"You thought what?" I retorted, a little more forcefully than intended.
Alex climbed off the bed. "I don't know... that this might really be something!"
I pulled the covers around me, feeling exposed and uncomfortable. "I don't really know what this is..." I replied honestly. Alex's face fell.
"If Jim found out, he'd-"
"You can't be serious!" he pulled his hand over his face and groaned. "This isn't about Jim! This is about us! I don't want to hear about fucking Jim!"
"But it is! I don't want anyone to get hurt!" I cried, and Alex just laughed at me.
"Emily, he has a girlfriend now... he won't give a shit, and if he does, then he's not a good mate!"
I scrambled, trying to find the words to respond to him. "But... I..."
"Oh my God... this isn't about him... this is about you and your need to shut everyone and everything out, isn't it? I thought after last night you were gonna let me in, but you're happy to just shove your feelings down once again." The realisation played on his face, making my heart sink.
"It's not like that..." I replied, but even I didn't believe myself.
Alex pulled his shoes back on and walked out the door, slamming it behind him. I jumped up to chase after him but remembered I still wasn't dressed, so flopped back down on the bed.
Shit.

Forty minutes later, I was still trying to get through to Alex's phone. At first, it rang for a while, but now it just went straight to voicemail. I'd left plenty, but one more couldn't hurt.
"Al, please call me back. I am so, so sorry... I'm an idiot. Just come back so we can figure this out... please?"

I put down the phone and tried to think what to do. Maybe if I got dressed, I could walk down to the beachfront to see if he was there? I got up to go to the bathroom when my phone rang. It was Jim.

"Hey," I said, awkwardly.
"Hey Em, erm... are you ok?" he returned, equally as uncomfortable.
"I'm fine, have you spoken to Al today?" I asked, trying to maintain an even tone.
"I tried calling him, but it kept going to voicemail. Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, fine... he went out to get some food, but I tried to call and ask for a diet coke and it was going straight to voicemail for me too." I lied, hating myself for it.
"Oh... you and your diet coke addiction – that shit will rot your stomach! I'm sure he's fine – maybe he's on the phone? He loves a chat." Jim joked, and I giggled politely.
"Very true."
"I erm... was actually calling about the er... us all hanging out tonight. You both up for it still?"
"I think so..."
"Cool. Izz was thinking that we could go for dinner – there's a pizza place close to you guys that does great pizzas and lots of vegan options for Izzy. What do you think?" Jim asked, but I could tell it was making him uncomfortable.
"Yeah, sounds fine." I replied casually.
"Ok, well I'll text you and Al the details later... bye, Em."
I put down the phone and practically leapt into the shower to wash off the smell of cheap wine, promising myself I'd be sticking to diet cokes for the foreseeable future.
When I was clean and looking more like my normal self, I pulled my hair into a bun, grabbed some clothes and collected the room key off the desk before hotfooting it out of the door.

I crossed the road to the stony beach and started to walk along it, hoping to find Alex. There were more people out today than yesterday, thanks to the milder temperatures and lack of rain, which made it more difficult to search. After twenty minutes of scanning individuals, I decided to call Al again. This time he answered.

"What is it Em?" his tone was despondent.
"Where are you? I've been walking on the beach trying to find you." I looked around, hoping to spy him on his phone. No luck.
He sighed. "I just need some time alone, ok?"
The worry had started to weigh against my chest, making me feel heavy.
"How long do you need?" The wait for his reply was unbearable.
"I don't know..."
"Al, I'm so sorry, I really didn't-"
"We'll talk later, ok?" Alex answered, before putting down the phone. I was floored. In all the time I'd known him, he'd never sounded like that before. So utterly dejected. Feeling sick with worry and sadness, I opted to head back to the hotel to wait for him.

There was still no sign of Al when Jim text over the details at 5pm, telling us that a table was booked for 7:30pm. I decided to spend my time packing in preparation for our journey home the next day, but then the thought occurred that Alex might not want me travelling back with him after everything. I pushed the thoughts away and continue to pack, folding his clothes and cleaning the space ready for the morning.