[in progress] As hearts collide {chicklit}

Chapter twelve - milestones

Another three weeks came and went, and with it, my birthday. I was finally 18, the age Sam was when he was cruelly taken from us.

It hurt my heart to think that from here on out, I would surpass his life. He'd never finish university, never meet the love of his life, never marry. Mum tried to make the day special with beautiful balloons, a delicious homemade cake and the offer of a special meal out. But in truth, I didn't really feel like celebrating.

This wasn't how I'd imagined by 18th birthday to be. I wasn't just missing my brother, I was missing my best friends too. Having plenty of time to think about their actions, I wasn't sure I was ready to forgive them, but I understood why Jim would want to protect me. Alex sleeping with Mia was harder to forget... but I guess I did push him away.

After opening my presents, I took myself out into the garden to listen to music and read the brand-new book that mum had bought me. Settling onto one of the sun loungers, I plugged in my headphones and cracked open the novel, written by my favourite author. As I laid there engrossing myself in the pages of a tragic love story, mum pulled one of the headphones out of my ear, making me flinch.

"Didn't mean to scare you love. You've got a visitor."
I looked to her, eyes squinting in the midday sun.
"Who... is it?"
She nodded to the door. "Why don't you take a look yourself?"
I groaned, removing the other earpiece and setting down my book beside me. Walking into the room, I spotted Jim looking awkward in the kitchen.

"Happy birthday!" He said brightly, moving in as if to hug me before deciding against it.
"Thanks. I'm not ready to-"
"I'm not here to apologise, though I am really, really sorry about everything. I just came to wish you a happy birthday and give you this-"
He pulled out a slim, square present, wrapped in polka dot wrapping paper.
"You shouldn't have..." I replied, taking the gift and smiling gently.
"I made it a few weeks back before... anyway, I hope you like it." I nodded, before looking down at the small mystery item.
"I'll let you get back to your book." He said, making towards the door. I wondered if he'd seen me in the garden or whether mum had told him what I was up to.

When he left, I flipped the package over and ran my finger down the taped seam, breaking it open. I unveiled the wrapping to reveal a homemade CD with all my favourite songs. On the cover, Jim had drawn the oak tree and us sitting underneath it. He'd always been a pretty good artist.

I immediately headed into my room to put it on.
The first track was labelled 'intro'.
As soon as the cracked sound kicked in, I knew it wasn't a song. Jim's voice rang through the speakers.

"Hey Em, happy 18th! It's crazy to think that we've spent our whole lives together... not many people are lucky enough to live next to their best mate. And no matter what happens, we'll always be together. You recently asked if I still played guitar and I said that I'd play for you, so, to kick off the CD, I thought I'd sing you a song I wrote."

The guitar strummed a beautiful and unfamiliar melody, and then Jim's sultry voice suddenly filled the room, making my heart twinge.

"When were three, you said to me,
that we would always be together.
When we were six, you helped me fix a bird who'd broke its feathers.
When we were nine, you'd stay at mine,
I thought we'd be that way forever.

But it wasn't meant to be,
you shut me out when we were teens,
now I'm just sat here with the dream,
that we would always be together.

You were 14, when fate would scheme,
and change the course of life forever.
I was upset, full of regret, we couldn't get through it together.
I let you down, I wasn't round,
When you were lost and feeling tender.