The Mafia's Secret

Chapter 32

SCARLETT

He was quiet. Too quiet. He had been sitting on the edge of the bed in silence for a few minutes now. I could see his body tense up as he grabbed the sheets with a tight grip. He was struggling to remain there in a calm manner. All I wanted was for him to say the words but he wouldn't. Something was keeping him from saying it. I was determined to find out what it was and I knew he would push back.

Finally sighing, I came up behind him, wrapping my arms around him. He was quick, shrugging me off with a rather aggressive force. I expected him to yell or say some sort of lude comment but he didn't. He just stayed silent, refusing to move or talk. It was odd to see such behavior from a man so intent on making people hate him. I wanted to. I wished I still did but I couldn't. My feelings for him had grown too strong and I hated myself for it. I really loved him and he felt the same way. He just wouldn't admit it.

Sitting next to him, I stayed silent. It was a struggle to keep my hands to myself but I knew he needed the space. To wrap his head around the change he didn't think he was capable of. I never expected this amount of change from him either. But man did I love it.

"You need to understand something, Scarlet." He finally started in a low tone. "I can't love. I'm not capable of it. I'm a fucking monster and I always will be."

"You know nothing about being a monster. And you're far from one."

"I've made your life a living Hell. And somehow I'm not a monster?"

"I've lived with monsters for years. I know when someone is a monster."

"Then you must be delusional." He stood, walking a few steps away. Within seconds he was spinning himself with nothing but anger written all over his face. "How can you possibly think you love me?! I've been nothing but a monster to you in the beginning! I fucking kidnapped you too get back at your brother! I abused you because I found it entertaining! I own a nightclub where woman are constantly raped behind closed doors! I have treated you like nothing but a pawn and yet, you love me?! Why?! How can you be this fucking clueless, Scar?!"

His words cut deep but I refused to show that it did. He was trying to push me away and I wasn't going to let him. Taking a quick breath to calm my mind, I sighed. "All I've ever known was men get what they want. I watched it kill my mother. I watched my father beat and rape her to death the night before I left. I dumped Nathaniel the next night, only to have him find me where he proceeded to beat and rape me until I woke up in the hospital three days later. I left the city to start a new life. Only to get kidnapped by the very person who destroyed Zayn's life." I sighed, recollecting myself before my emotions could get the better of me. "Everything you did, made me realize what my father said was actually true. Once born into this life, you can't leave it no matter how much you fucking try."

I stood. Within seconds I was pacing back and forth, trying to calm my racing heart. But it was too late. All the anger built up into my chest. It hurt the longer I tried to force it back. I didn't want to say it but it felt as if my body and mind was forcing me to. I had held it back, suppressed in the back of my mind for far too long.

"I've always loved you, Xavier! Since the first day of my brother introducing Nathaniel and I to you, I felt a connection I never thought I could feel with anyone since I never felt it with Nathaniel! I tried to ignore it for Zayn's sake but I never could! I've seen the way you treat women you have feelings for! I've seen the way you toy with those who want nothing but the popularity of being with you! I've seen it all! And yet I can't stop seeing my life with you! I may have never admitted it to myself but I am now! If I could have ended it with Nathaniel right there and then, I would have!"

I didn't care that our shouting would wake up the entire household. I just needed to get the truth off of my chest. He needed to know and I needed to admit it to myself. I had spent too long convincing myself that the tension was nothing. That it was just a figment of my imagination. It didn't matter if he treated me better or worse than Nathaniel. I just knew I loved him and it hadn't changed no matter how bad things had gotten. He was all I ever wanted.

I was ready for whatever he threw at me. Whether it was a slap or if he just left the room nude and all. But all he did was stare at me. All anger gone from him, replaced with nothing but an unreadable gaze. It felt like minutes before he finally took the smallest step forward. When he did, I couldn't help but flinch back.

Before I could blink, had me in his grasp, pinning me against the wall. The force he had used, causing me to grunt as a small amount of pain spread across my back. I had no time to catch my breath before his lips came crashing down onto mine. Wrapping my arms around his neck, he lifted me up against the wall. He was quick to insert himself into me, thrusting in a rough manner as he kissed my neck and chest. Before he could finish, he brought me over to the bed, laying my back onto the sheets.

He pulled himself out but still loomed over me. He started to trial kisses from my neck, down to my abdomen, sending a tingling warm sensation throughout my body as he did so. Once he reached my bikini line, he started to flick his tongue against my clit as he used his fingers to fiddle with my nipples. Within a matter of seconds, I was climaxing, letting out a soft moan as my boy let out its release.

Opening my eyes, Xavier was looming over me with a big grin plastered on his face. He got off, grabbing my hips. WWithin seconds he had me flipped over on all four of my limbs. He quickly inserted himself into me once again, thrust hard as he kept his hands on my hips. It didn't take long for him to let out his release, flippin me back onto my back where he proceeded to pull me further onto the bed. Before the cold air could reach us, he had us under the sheets. His arms wrapped around me as he pulled me in close.

We said nothing as we laid in bed together, enjoying the silence. I expected Xavier to be sleeping now, exhausted from the effort he had just put in moments ago. But as I looked up to see his face, he was staring down at me with the softest of smiles on his face. So soft I wasn't sure if I was imagining it or not.

"God, I love you, Scar." He whispered breathlessly, kissing the top of my head.

I couldn't help but smile at his words. He had said it. The man had actually said it. "I love you too."

Giving him a small kiss on the lips, I turned just enough so that my back was facing him but that I was still in his arms. Before I knew it, I found myself falling asleep in his arms, happier than I had been in a long time.