Misunderstanding

Excuses in the Name of Company

Bowser mumbled strong curses under his breath as Kamek led him back to the meeting room, where there seemed to be another phone call for him. This time, though, it was some dopey kingdom that he didn't care to remember the name of. But what they were offering was definitely more interesting than the forced monotone of the king speaking to him.

"We are willing to give up at least sixty percent of our land in exchange for the safety of my daughter," he spoke, his faux calmness being broken much too easily by his obvious fear. "But I can also give up more, if you so wish."

"How am I supposed to know that your land isn't just some small little patch of grass?" Bowser questioned, finding it much easier to hide his excitement than the other king was attempting. "For all I know, you could be yanking my tail so I don't take your precious princess."

"Take all of it if you want, then!" the other king suddenly shouted, a sob or two slipping through. "Daddy, no!" a female voice cried from not too far away. "I just want you to keep off of my daughter!"

Bowser rolled his eyes, though he was tempted. A man was giving up everything just to protect his daughter (who Bowser really couldn't care less about)? He glanced towards Kamek, who just gestured to him to answer the man on the phone. Bowser finally decided on what to demand.

"I want eighty percent, any less and your princess will be a permanent addition to my castle," Bowser growled, then interrupted the king's thanks to say, "And if I find out that I'm getting crappy land and space, I'll take her and put her somewhere where you'll never see her again."

A hard, audible swallow on the other end. "I swear you will not be disappointed."

With a grunt, Bowser hung up the phone and looked at Kamek with a grin. The old magikoopa smiled back, albeit not with as much enthusiasm. Bowser raised a brow, his grin fading.

"What?" he asked. "Did I say something I wasn't supposed to?"

"You don't even realize what happened, do you?" Kamek asked, ordering the guards around them to leave, which told Bowser that he was getting yelled at. He prepared himself for a lecture. "That kingdom has just given you eighty percent of their land because they are scared you will capture their princess! That means that they know about Peach, and who took her. Do you know what that means, then?"

"More than just the Mushroom Kingdom knows," Bowser said, a thought popping up in his head and getting him excited again. "Then they'll offer up land too. Kamek, this is great!"

"No, sire, it's not," Kamek groaned. "Since a kingdom as obscure as that knows, that means that the Mushroom kingdom's king and queen will soon know as well. Then they'll declare war on us, and who knows what financial and life losses we'll suffer from that. You shouldn't have taken Princess Peach, or you could have at least taken her back once you called off the troops."

Bowser looked down at his feet, then back up at Kamek. "Why can't I take her back now?"

"Because they probably already know, so it's too late," Kamek replied, trying and failing to keep the bitterness out of his voice. "Now we just have to wait it out."

Bowser narrowed his eyes, suddenly unsure. "Do you like her or something?"

Kamek flicked his gaze over to Bowser in a scowl, and he tried to speak, but found himself unable. Bowser's eyebrows nearly escaped his face as he raised them in shock. Kamek just grumbled and muttered a curse so old Bowser didn't even know it. The Koopa King felt a burst of laughter coming on, and he didn't bother to hold it in. Kamek scowled and looked at the ground.

"You...oh wow...you totally have a crush on the princess!" Bowser laughed out loud, pointing a thick, clawed finger at Kamek, who suddenly raised one hairless brow at him.