Camryn Quinn is finally getting what she wants...sort of. Moving into a dorm and away from her not so supportive father is a good first step, but like everything with him, it comes with strings. She must attend the college of his choosing for at lea...
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PT was long, lifting was even longer. Honestly anything feels like an eternity until I can see Camryn again. We left things on good terms this morning, but her brother calling this morning has left a queasy feeling in my stomach. He wasn't in the weight room, and I didn't see him anywhere else in the facility. I don't think he would tell her. Nothing good comes from Camryn knowing. She already doesn't like him, the truth would be the final nail in the coffin on their relationship.
I just need to focus on making up for lost time. For showing her what I meant when I said the months between us were real. Even if I never told her, the feelings were there. I'd do anything to make sure she truly believes it. I pull out my phone to send her a quick text, but as I walk up the concrete path to my house, she's already waiting on the steps.
The second she sees me, she stands and raises her hands and begins a slow clap. I move to her, noticing her red and swollen face, the tears still running in a steady stream down her face. Dropping my bag at our feet, I lay a palm on her cheek to block their path as I ask, "Are you okay?"
I watch her eyes close with a force that she then uses to pull away from me. "You deserve an Oscar for your performance."
"What are you talking about?" My heart thunders against my rib cage. Then nausea returns in full force. This can't be happening.
"Was it some sort of hazing?" Her arms crossed over her chest like she's trying to hide from me. I'm forced to watch as she takes a few steps away. "Was it supposed to be a joke?"
"Camryn, please." I reach for her again, but she just moves back even further.
"Being paid to spend time with me? Really Taylor? You let the two people who hold so much over me already just add to the wager? I fucking trusted you!"
"Camryn it wasn't like that! I mean at first it was." I stumble over my words, still reaching out for her. If I could just touch her. If she would let me hold her we could figure this out. "I don't care about the money! I already told Cal that!"
"When?"
Her tone is too calm, it catches me off guard. "What?"
"When did you tell him? When we were meeting at the diner outside of tutoring? When we were playing twenty questions and sharing the most vulnerable parts of ourselves? Or was it when you came up with the list?" She counts all the memories between us off on her fingers. "Or maybe it wasn't a big deal until we started to flirt, to touch, or when I kissed you? Did you get a bonus every time you coaxed me into going out? Every time you made me think you had feelings for me?"
"Camryn, stop," I beg. "Just come here. Let me explain. It wasn't like that."
"It wasn't? Did you take his money or not, Taylor?"
"I needed the money Camryn. If you just please—please let me explain." I think a few tears fall from my eyes because Camryn doesn't pull away immediately when I reach for her again. The pity on her face is quickly replaced with a disgust that hits me straight in my gut. Her hand slings free from mine and I have no choice but to let mine just dangle at my sides. "I stopped taking it, I promise. I'm going to pay him back." It comes out defeated. "It's why it took me so long to find you last night. I needed to tell him I was out. That I didn't want the extra from your dad."
I don't know how much she knows. I have no way of knowing if Cal told her about the new deposits, or my suspicions that her dad was behind it. None of it matters. I'll tell her anything she wants to know if she'll stay long enough to hear me out. But when my eyes search her face again for any sign of trust, I find nothing but sadness and anger.
"Congradulations," she shrugs. "At least I know I'm not a prostitute. It still doesn't change the fact that I was with you that entire time. You let me keep getting closer, you let me open up to you. I shared everything with you, even the parts that fucking hurt to bring up. All the stuff with my mom, my suicide attempt. Everything with my dad.... You knew better than anyone, Taylor. You knew what they were capable of and you still took the money." She turns away from me now, like she can't even stand to look at me. The action is enough to send me to my knees. I bury my head in my hands as I wait for her to keep going. Her voice isn't a yell, it's barely a whisper. But I can still hear the way it breaks. "You let me give you my heart. And you did the one thing I never expected from you. You took the cracks that were already there—the ones that I thought were healing—and you used them as leverage to just let it shatter."
I'll fight for her until my last breath, but it feels like I have nothing left as I plead. "Camryn, please don't do this."
"You did this," she points a shaking finger towards me. "You broke this. And I was stupid for giving it to you in the first place."
She leaves me there, kneeling on the ground. She doesn't give me a chance to explain, not that the words would have come anyway. She's hurting. I caused it, and it's killing me. This is the thing I was trying to avoid. I knew I should have walked away months ago. I should have never let it get to this point. Except I couldn't walk away from her. She's right about it all. The more I knew, the more I wanted. The closer we got, the harder it was to pretend I didn't truly care what happened. And now I'm left to watch her walk away from me.
