He showed up late today! I know, great right?
That's what I thought too . . . But then he told me he has a girlfriend. He wasn't mean about it, he just said it. I somehow managed not to show it, but part of me broke.
How could I have been so dumb? Why did I fall for him so hard? Why and how did I possibly think I had a shot with him?
It's not his fault he doesn't like me that way.
If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I worried all year that I'd done something stupid and ruined it. Maybe now I know I did.
But I can't show it. I have to play the part of the smart comic friend and act like I'm fine. And I'm fine. I'm always fine. Even when my brothers blame me for everything, or when adults act like I don't know anything, or when everyone misunderstands me and my empathy, I'm fine. It's always good, I'm always great, I can always do more.
Part of me hopes they'll break up. But that's mean and selfish, so I've told myself I'm not allowed to feel that way. IF they do break up, I have to tell myself that I won't be the one he turns to.
WHY, APRODITE? JUST, WHY? Why did you have to make my eyes rove, and then pull the floor out from under me? Why did you help me fly over the moon, then let me drown in an invisible sea?
I'll be okay. You can't hurry love, to quote Phil Collins. He may not like me that way and that's alright. This is only temporary pain. I can move on. There's someone out there somewhere. I just have to find him.
YOU ARE READING
Renx's artbook #3
RandomWARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF WEIRD HUMOR, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, A YOUNG ARTIST FANGIRLING OVER VARIOUS BOOKS, MOVIES, TV SHOWS, AND SONGS, VENTING, RAMBLING OVER SHIPS, AND ARTWORK. WATTPAD IS NOT RESPONCIBLE FOR ANY PA...
