I Can Make It Right

Broken

Aera was hugging Paul when I saw her. Have they reconciled? I was thinking to myself. I turned away from them. It is painful to watch them. I had unrealistic expectations of having a chance with Aera.

They were correct when they said that the person she once loved would be your greatest rival, not those who pursued her.

The sight of her with Paul cuts deep. My feelings for her are more than just an attraction. I had fallen for her. Hard.

I remembered when she would approach me and ask about the business owners' association meeting she had missed. Every time she came close, I got nervous. Her smile would never fail to brighten my day. I even felt happy whenever she glanced my way.

I had stopped seeing another girl. It does not feel right any longer. I can not imagine myself being intimate with anyone other than Aera.

This seems to be my karma. I have broken many girls' hearts before by rejecting them. Now I understand how they felt when Aera rejected me after I confessed. She truly believes I am a womanizer. I can not rationalize that. She had seen me with different girls before.

I stopped by Taehyung's bar.  I wanted to drink away my sorrow.

"Jiminaah!"Taehyung welcomed me. "What brings you here?" He asks.

I just shrugged my shoulders. He scrutinized me, and his face became somber as he realized I was not my usual happy self.

"It is a girl issue," he stated. I made no comment. I took the glass of wine he placed in front of me and drank it all at once. "Damn, Bro. "It looks serious." He exclaimed. He took another glass and the entire bottle of wine and motioned me to our regular table.

"I saw Aera," I informed him after a few more shots. I am starting to feel tipsy.

Taehyung did not say anything, so I continued.

"She was hugging Paul," I concluded before swallowing another shot. This was my first time having my heart broken.

I could not stop laughing at how ridiculous everything was. Girls flocked to me, and I could simply choose one of them to be my girlfriend. But no. I am chasing someone who does not even look at me. It is absolutely hilarious.

"Why don't you talk to her and ask her about it?" Taehyung remarked.

"I do not think that is a good idea, bro."

"If you want, I can ask her," he said.

I just shook my head. "Let her be," I said, staring at the ice melting in my glass before pouring some wine into it. "Who am I to stop her from being happy with him?" I added. Though every word I said hurts like hell.

I contacted one of the girls I have previously dated. She is also stunningly beautiful and charming.

I met her in a hotel, and she pushed me against the door before kissing me passionately. My lust was fueled by the alcohol in my system.

I allowed her to do whatever she wanted. This is what I meant when I said I wanted my partner to be wild in bed.

She led me onto the couch and stood in front of me, removing her clothes one by one. When I looked up into her face and saw Aera, I swallowed. I could feel myself hardening. 

I groaned as she placed my rock-hard thing in her mouth. "Aera," I moaned aloud.

"What the hell?" I felt a slap land on my cheek. It felt like a bucket of ice had been dumped on me, and my desire had vanished.

I yanked my hair violently while cursing internally.

I attempted to go out with other girls, but the same thing happened over and over.

"You do not seem to be sleeping well these days, bro." Namjoon commented.

"Are there no girls tonight?" Jin hyung inquired, popping a peanut.

I leaned against the back of the couch to rest my head.

"I think I am going insane," I told them after what happened with the girls I went out with.

"Tsk! "That sounds bad," Yoongi stated.

"The only way to resolve that is to speak with Aera." Jungkook suggested.

"Telling me sounds easier than doing it." I told him, getting irritated.

"Have you given it a try?"J-hope inquired.

Shaking my head, I drank the entire mug of beer. "I have not seen her since that night." I informed them. The truth is that I am resisting the urge to visit her restaurant.

It is painful to see her. What more if I speak with her. I might have a breakdown. I now understand how it feels to fall for someone who is not interested in you.

"Ahhh, our Jiminaa is in love," J-hope said, patting my knees.

I was in love, but I needed to start forgetting about her. She cannot possibly be mine. She belonged to someone else. I really should start looking for someone to get serious with. My heart was hesitant, though. All it wants is Aera.

I went to my dance studio at 1 a.m. The song "Fake Love" by BTS filled the place. The choreography for this song is extremely emotional. I practiced it until I ran out of energy.

I lay down on the floor and stared at the ceiling. My breathing is labored as I attempt to catch my breath.

When I awoke, the player was still on. I groaned as I slowly stood up. My whole body aches. Thank goodness it is Sunday today and the studio is closed.

When I walked out, Aera's restaurant had already opened. I saw her in the dining area, assisting her crew in wiping down the tables.

That was one of her appealing qualities. I sighed as I watched her work.

When I saw her looking at me, my heart rate increased. She waved and smiled at me, but I chose to ignore her. I could feel her gaze on me as I entered my car.