Detective and Me

Chapter 6

I shouldn't have come here; this was a terrible idea. I concede after falling on my butt for the fourth time. I glance across the ice rink. No one seems to notice, though. In the 10 minutes I've been here, I've been able to skate two of those minutes and have fallen four times. I am going to be in pain for days. Ugh, what was I thinking about coming here without proper training? Who am I kidding? I know what I was thinking; I wanted to overcome my fears and finally cross off the first item on my bucket list. Ice skating was my childhood dream. But I have no idea how to skate. I have been to an ice rink before but never stepped inside. I always procrastinate; whenever I go to the ice rink, I think I'll come back tomorrow with friends, or if I don't think I am ready today, let's come next week. Now is not the right time... There is a never-ending list of excuses why this is not the "right moment. . I always waited for that so-called "right moment," which never came, by the way. But when I created my bucket list, I promised myself that if I wanted to do something, I would do it. No more procrastinating. No more waiting for the "right moment." And I have always wanted to ice skate so badly. It has been my dream ever since I watched Ice Princess in my childhood. And this was the first thing I could think of when I was listing items on my bucket list. I decided not to overthink it. So I grabbed my brand new ice skates, which I bought two years ago but never used, and came here, thinking there would be instructors here, but look at my luck... No instructor is present today, not a single one. I think the universe is angry at me these days. But I decided not to back down and to face challenges like a warrior. Because if not now, then when? Apparently, even warriors need training before going on the battlefield. So now I am here, sitting on the floor of a very crowded ice rink and cursing internally. "Having fun in there?" someone asks me, and I can tell with certainty whose voice is this. I close my eyes. The universe is set to make me a laughing stock; it's confirmed and proved. I look up, and there he is, Camden, looking as ravishing as always, and... he is in his uniform today. Oh, my poor heart. Men in uniform have always been my weakness, and this specific man in uniform is wreaking havoc on my heart. I look at myself and grimace. I am still sitting on ice. I try to get up and fail miserably. I let out a frustrated huff and gave up. I look up at him in defeat. He chuckles. Hmm, he is amused. "Detective Martin...". I acknowledge him. "Hi, everything okay?" "Well, let me see, first I come here in the hope of finding an instructor who can teach me skating, but then I find out that there are no instructors present here today. Then, very foolishly, I decided that I didn't need an instructor because I was a very capable woman. So I stepped into the rink, and before even taking the first step, I fell. Then I keep trying and falling. After having fallen four times, I decided to give up. So, I can say that everything is not okay." My rambling earns me another chuckle, and I smile. Well, it seems like I still have a crush on him, even after being ghosted for two weeks. I haven't seen him since our impromptu coffee date two weeks ago. He didn't text or call, and he didn't stop by the diner either. I was a little disappointed at first, but then I got over it. It didn't mean anything, anyway. His disappearance proved that it was one-sided. I thought I got over it, but I think it will take one more smile from him for my feelings to return. He looks at me; something about his gaze... forget it. "Can you stand up now? Or someone will knock you." Just on cue, I spot a teenage couple skating towards me. "Ava, be careful," Camden called out, his voice urgent. I steer myself out of their way just in time, and they skate past me. I stand carefully, holding onto the rink. My heart is beating rapidly. That was close. "That could've been bad." He breathes. "Yeah, it could've." "Now, can you please come outside? Careful" I skate towards the exit, holding onto the railing. When I reach the exit, he holds out his hand, and I take it hesitantly. I sit on the bench and start removing my skates. "This was a bad idea," I murmured. "What was?" "This is coming here and following my bucket list." He frowns at me. "None of it was a bad idea. The only bad idea was to come here without prior knowledge about skating." "I know. I am just frustrated. It isn't like I am a complete stranger to skating; I mean, I have watched many Youtube videos and stuff." Honestly, that's the truth. I thought that I had been following skating for a very long time and that I'd be able to get the hang of it if I just went out there. I couldn't have been more wrong. "It's not the same thing," he murmurs, his frown deepening. Certainly, it isn't. "Yeah, you are right. I will come again tomorrow." I am not going to give up now. I put on my shoes and stand up. "I forgot to ask, what are you doing here?" "I was here regarding a case. A burglary took place nearby. I was leaving when I saw your car parked outside, so I thought I'd say hi." I nod, and we walk towards the exit in silence. "Hey," he says suddenly. "Don't give it up." "What... skating?" "No, this bucket list thing. If you leave this now, you will regret it. I always look back and wonder what it would've been like if I hadn't given up on my dreams. You shouldn't carry the weight of regrets. Believe me, regrets are sick. They plague your dreams and your thoughts until you reach the point where you start to question your mere existence. You start to wonder, Why are you even living like this?" He stares in the distance and then shakes his head to himself. As if he is shaking off some unwelcome thoughts. "You should follow your heart. Fill it with happiness, not regrets." I stare at him, stunned. He never spoke like this before. The way he said it... It felt like he was the one carrying so many regrets in his heart. I wonder if it has anything to do with his deceased wife. "Just life advice," he says when I don't say anything. It wasn't just a piece of life advice; it felt like he just poured his heart out. He takes a long breath. My eyes burn. What is this man going through? I wish he would talk to me and tell me what's in his heart. But I won't say anything if he doesn't want to talk about it. Instead, I reach for his hand and promise him, "I won't. I won't ever give up on my dreams." He looks at me, his face expressionless. It's like he is purposely hiding his emotions. I give his hand a reassuring squeeze, and we walk toward the parking lot, hand in hand. I am about to get in my car when he speaks again: "Hey, listen!" I turn to look at him; he looks a little hesitant, which makes me wonder what he is about to say. "I am off duty tomorrow evening, so I was wondering if you'd like me to come with you here." I stare at him wide-eyed. He couldn't possibly be asking me on a date. Or could he? "To train you, I mean. I can't let you keep falling," he clarifies. Oh. I am so stupid. I clear my throat awkwardly. "No, you don't have to. I mean, there will be instructors tomorrow." He smiles faintly. "I know I don't have to. I want to." I sigh. My heart does this weird little thing in my chest. Stupid, stupid heart. We are trying to get over our crush, remember? I open my mouth, then close it, then open it again. "I am the worst company in the world. Like, super boring. Trust me, you don't want to spend time with me. It's your evening off; don't you want to hit a bar with your friends or something?" I say in an attempt to evade this. He lets out a humorless chuckle, and he lifts his eyes to mine. With the most sincere expression, he says, "Trust me, you are the only one with whom I want to spend my time." When he says things like, "And I don't have any friends," I give him a questioning look. "My duty doesn't give me any time to make friends or hit a bar. So what do you say? Wanna give me a chance to help you live a regret-free life?" I give him a long look. I know I shouldn't say yes to his offer because I know if we keep meeting like this, then he'll become more than a crush on me, and I can't have that. I can't... I am done getting hurt. Stop going there. It's just a crush, and I'll get over it. Still, I shouldn't say yes. But when he looks at me with those expectant eyes... I know that this means more to him than what he is letting me see. I can't bring myself to say no. "Yes, I'd like that very much." He smiles then, not the professional one he graces me with sometimes, not even like those amused chuckles he lets out. This one feels genuine... like he is. happy. I reciprocated the action, suddenly overwhelmed. I am still mulling over the events of the day when I make my way to the apartment. Something happened between me and Camden at the ice rink; I am not sure what, but I felt something, and I think he felt that too. It feels like the barrier between us has been lowered. I hope I don't get ghosted again. As soon as I step in, I get cornered by Darla and Miya in our kitchen. They caught me as soon as I got home, and now these twins are staring at me with narrowed eyes. I give them my most innocent expression. That isn't doing me any good, though; they can see right through me. I knew it was coming; I'd been keeping secrets from them for almost a month, and it was just a matter of time before they figured out something was wrong with me. Best friends. Sometimes, it is really scary to have friends who know you like the back of their hands. "Hey guys," I clear my throat awkwardly, looking down at the floor. "Eyes on me." Miya's motherly voice, which currently contains a hint of anger in it, makes me snap my eyes at her. "Us," Darla mumbles to Miya. "Yeah, us. Look at us, Ava," I fake a frown, "I am already looking at you." "Not funny," Darla commented. I stifle a smile. "Sorry guys," I mumble. "You guys are cute when you are angry." I notice a hint of a smile on Miya's face, but Darla's face is stone cold. Which she is clearly faking. She does that; most of the time, she keeps a mask on her face that only cracks around me and Miya. People who don't know her might think that she is a bitchy and stone-hearted woman, but the people who do know her, like, really know her, will tell you that she is the cutest, bubbly, and jolly girl you can ever meet. She doesn't show this side of her to everyone. She says people are A-holes, and they don't deserve her. Something happened to her in the past. Well, this isn't my story to tell. (Darla will tell you someday if she is ready.) "We are not angry, we are freaking furious." With her mask intact, she might let her mask slip around me, but when she purposefully hides her emotions from me, I can never sneak a peek at her real emotions. She has done it a few times, and today is one of those days. I wonder what is going through her head. I glance at Miya; unlike Darla, Miya wears her emotions on her face. But today, I can't even decipher what she is feeling. What is going on? My amusement dies. They are serious. This can't be just because of my weird behavior. Their faces say it's something else.