Never the one Never mine | VSOO

6. Cursed evenings

"Ugh my head hurts," Jisoo said to her, she was still in school, half the class had left to go home, but she always stayed. Today, No one waited for her, Jennie had to attend an event of her parents, Jungkook had to take his sister out for work, and Taehyung had to attend a meeting as always.

No one was with her, which gave her mind more of a chance to bully her. She did eat an orange because of that dumb guy. But it sure did help to keep her from fainting. She didn't have anyone to talk to, or share her feelings with, she was left alone, which happened to be her phobia, being left all alone, and having no one to talk to.

She felt tears falling from her cheeks while she packed her back. 

The loneliness made her feel dirty, bad, and overall shitty.

But she still got out of the class and went out, where she saw some hooligans who were laughing. And that reminded her of her group, while she was sad that she was alone, maybe she was just too used to the people and she was homesick now that she didn't have them with her.

While walking, She felt alone and unsafe, she felt like jumping in front of a car and dying would give her a happy ending, but she still had to think about her best friends and sister, they love her, and they want her around, she can't just end everything too quickly.

It truly felt like a cursed evening, She stayed out for the whole evening, knowing she would get scolded after she goes home for coming late, and potentially end up with a sore and red ear because of it being pulled. Thinking of it hurt, but she couldn't do anything could she?

So she went back home, back to the never ending drama, a place known to be home, was just another building for her, nothing else.

At home, she got changed, and made coffee, and just as she was about to get to do her work she got a message:

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*AnnoyingTaehyung:

"Did you eat? Coffee doesn't countt"

She was quite shocked at the timing, how perfectly did he know her without even knowing her.

*Me:

"I ate an orange and a coffee rn"

*AnnoyingTaehyung:

"WHAT?! THATS IT?! EAT MORE RIGHT NOW I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF YOU WANT TO OR NOT"

*Me:

"Ohhoh The annoying Taehyung has been annoyed"

"I'll eat ltr"

*AnnoyingTaehyung:

"SHUT UP AND GO EAT"

*Me:

"Ugh okay"

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Jisoo was annoyed but Taehyung was more annoyed then her, It was funny of how she didn't care about herself, and he cared, probably too much.

Well as she was told, she went and ate a few dates.

Was she walking to something she should be running away from?

It did feel like that, but she also felt comfort. Did she know what to do? nope. So she just let it go, as it was gonna be. 

And Got back to studying as usual.

She craved for her academic validation, it was the only thing that had her recognized, but she wasn't that good too, so she had to give her everything, all her time, and energy just to that.

But she still failed to be good enough, she was always the second, never the best, always the second one.

Well with all that, after she studied, for nearly 3 -4 hours, she finally felt quite accomplished and happy. So Jisoo as the usual naive little girl she was, went to show it to her elder sister, who in turn said, "Then? You should start waking up at 3.00AM to study this much isn't gonna work, your exams are just here," She said, she didn't didn't care about the notes, or the effort, do more that's the only thing she said, and whatsoever no acknowledgement. 

All the happiness and accomplishment Jisoo felt all wore down, funny how even one word from your loved ones can make you cry, she thought to herself, but this time, she didn't feel like crying, she just walked away, and went to the kitchen, told her mom she was getting coffee, but in turn she actually burned herself on her hand, not once or twice but 5 whole times, her hand now being scared, she smiled and went back to her room.

It was certainly something that made her sad, she finally got to do some work and felt good after doing it, but this is what she got after it? All the work she did before felt like nothing now, she was back to hating herself.

Then comes at night, she ate dinner, somehow, and then went to clean everything up, later when she went to her room to do skincare, she was heavily scolded before it, by her sister and mother together, funny how they both took each other's side when they needed but there was no one to take hers. 

"YOU TAKE TOO MUCH TIME TO DO SKINCARE WHATS EVEN THE USE OF IT YOU AREN'T GONNA LOOK GOOD AFTER IT TOO, DUMBASS. KEEP THE DOOR OPEN WHILE YOU DO SKINCARE, WE ALSO WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU DO FOR THIS MUCH TIME"

she was confused, dumbfounded, and on the verge of tears, but she couldn't cry, because she knew one tear off and she would just be scolded more, maybe even slapped in that case, yes she agreed she took "too much time" to do skincare, but that was the alone time where she cried, silently screamed, punched, and also where she could be herself, happily.

So after those fights and scolds she tried to sleep, where she couldn't, because she felt too homesick, she didn't talk to anyone, and she wasn't happy. So no sleep, Just overthinking, and crying.