Glory and Gore

Third Letter

dear daddy,

i don't have a problem whatsoever with answering your problems. sorry if this letter has a later response, though. i was having trouble answering some of these questions, so i needed a little bit of help from mommy.

now here are my answers to your very creative questions:

            -what is your last name? – my last name is yelburg.

-what is your mother's maiden name? – mommy's first name is adelaide. her maiden name is mota.

-what is my name? – your name is james yelburg.

            -how did your mother and i meet? – you guys met at a hamburger parlour. you were both applying for the same job, and according to mommy you had an instant connection as soon as you guys first gazed into each other's eyes.

hopefully you now understand that you do in fact have a son, and i'm not just some punk trying to play tricks with your mind. i truly am your baby boy.

now since we are related by blood, and we have our awkward introductions said and done, i think it's about time we meet. we are father and son, that pairing should have some sort of bond, and we don't.

i really want us to meet. i will risk everything. i will die trying if i have to (i forgot to mention i have a flare for the dramatics).

how about we meet up in like a month or so? that gives you time to clear your schedule and to travel over here to wisconsin, from wherever you are in paris.

to be honest, this is getting quite exciting. we can go fishing, play sports, go camping, eat ice cream, and go on adventures with steve! he'll be overwhelmed with happiness to find out we can add a third person to our group of supreme awesomeness.

please write back to me soon, i would really like you to come over here and visit. families shouldn't be kept apart, and that is what is happening right now. please say yes!

oh, and one more thing. this must be kept a secret. mommy can't know. she doesn't even know that you have written back to me. she thinks i'm sending this to some random person. she didn't ever believe that i would actually be capable of contacting you. all she gave me was a name, and i've done the rest.

i want you to promise me you won't say anything to her. how do you think your son would feel if you broke a pact that you promised to abide by?

                                                                                                cheers

                                                                                                your son,

                                                                                                stewart