Below The Surface - A Lackadaisy Fanfiction

Hello...Welcome Home

"I do not have time for this, why are we on the damn roof?" Mordecai croaked out, then winced. He should have tested his voice more than what he did. He sounded like he was going to break down. Though one thing was for certain: he did not want to do all of this outside. He walked with Rocky with his arms crossed tightly over his chest, gripping his arms.

"To get away from the prying eyes, for you of course." Rocky looked over his shoulder, smiling...his damn smile...damnit.

"...how considerate." Mordecai drawled, looking away. He felt his ears pinning on the back of his head.

"You haven't been okay for a while...have you?" Rocky asked him.

"...no." For the longest time, Mordecai held back every single emotion. Every tear. Every scream. Every cry of anguish or agony...everything: he considered himself weak for letting it all out.

Yet here he was...allowing Rocky to hold his hand. Allowing him to hold him in general.

At first, it only started with Mordecai giving a hundred year stare: immediately concerning, given the fact that he is constantly glaring at something.

"Tell me how you feel," Rocky urged gently, "so I can help out. That's what loved ones are for, right?" He extended his arm out, and he—deciding to take the gamble—wrapped it around Mordecai's shoulders, before pulling him in for a full embrace. Mordecai wrapped his arms around Rocky's waist, and he leaned into the hug. He pressed his forehead against the others, and they sat in silence.

"Let it out, Mordecai...let it all out." Rocky whispered.

Mordecai felt the soothing hand, rubbing on his back. Though he supposed this was enough for a breaking point. A sob clawed at his throat, shuddering through him as he felt his knees. He felt his throat constrict as another sob made its way out of his mouth. He clawed at Rocky's back, enough to leave scars. Then another sob, and another, and another...and by this time, he had broken down enough to feel like scolding himself. He was a crying mess now, fully sinking to his knees, dragging Rocky down with him.

He had spoken upon something unclearly. Something about feeling dread. Or was it guilt? It was guilt: he had sobbed out in incoherent sentences about feeling the burden of not being able to protect Atlas...that's where he let everything slip. Mordecai explained everything to Rocky: his relationship with Atlas, why Mordecai left Lackadaisy—and ultimately left Rocky—and how he was searching to find out who was the murderer.

It had hurt Rocky's heart to find out so suddenly that Mordecai was holding so much in. His face softened, the smile was far away now. His pupils turned small, and he allowed himself to be dragged down. Now he was sitting on the cold, concrete flooring of the hotel's roof, as he brought himself and Mordecai closer to the thick banister, Rocky leaning his own back against it, pulling Mordecai closer towards him. He made sure to take off the other's pince–nez, and noticed him rubbing his eyes and face in an almost violent manner.

"...no..." Rocky whispered, reaching for Mordecai's wrists after setting the pince–nez down next to him, "no, no, no, be gentle with yourself...don't hurt yourself."

Mordecai didn't seem to respond to it immediately, only after Rocky had begun to kiss his tear–stained cheeks, in hopes of kissing said tears away, hoping that Mordecai would feel better. Mordecai didn't register all of this until now.

"...excuse me...?" He croaked out.

"I need you to not hurt yourself...you're acting like feeling emotions is a bad thing." Rocky gave a lighthearted chuckle.

"This is downright humiliating towards me, I cannot comprehend or fathom the state of..." Mordecai took a deep breath and sighed shakily, before gesturing to himself. "...this."