How to avoid falling for a Trohman for dummies

10

Terry

I knew it had been too good to be real. I lay on my bed, listening to the sound of Joe pounding on my door and not caring that I was smoking in my room.

I heard Andy come out and he and Joe had a muffled conversation, then Andy's voice sounded at the door. "Sweety, I know you don't want to talk to Joe right now, but will you let me in?"

I felt bad for ignoring him since he was the one that saved me when Ashley was beating me up, so I picked up my phone and sent him a text saying I just wanted to be left alone to sleep.

A minute later, he called through the door, "Alright Terry. I'm here if you need me."

The sound of his and Joe's footsteps echoed as though we were in a cavern. I was alone with my thoughts at last. Joe's ex-wife was pregnant with a baby that could only be his. While I knew somehow Joe would be a great dad, it hurt knowing that he would have that connection with another woman.

I chided myself for such a thought. Did I think I was "The One" in Joe's eyes? He was a big shot celebrity and I, I was just the Fall Out Babysitter. It was doomed from the start.

I bit down on my lip, forgetting how painful it was from the bruising and held back my tears. This hurt more than physically. My stomach was clenched in a knot of nerves. I couldn't fight the tears anymore and they flowed down my face.

I had done what I had been avoiding so hard, I had fallen hopelessly for Joseph Trohman.

I knew, eventually, he'd find a way to make me listen. I also knew I could not keep him from manning up to his responsibilities as a father. I just didn't want to be logical right now. I had had a day from hell and I was wallowing in my self-pity.

I grabbed my iPod, plugged in my earphones and pressed play. I let Patrick's voice drown out what I was feeling:

"There's a room in a hotel in New York City
That shares our fate and deserves our pity
I don't want to remember it all
The promises I made if you just hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

And I just need enough of you to dull the pain
Just to get me through the night until we're twins again
'Til we're stripped down to our skeletons again
'Til we're saints just swimming in our sins again
And there's a jet black crow droning on and on and on
Up above our heads droning on and on and on
Keep making trouble 'till you find what you love
I need a new partner in crime and you're my shotgun"

The lyrics were just hitting me too hard right now. I stopped the song and breathed in deeply, as though maybe a breath of air would somehow bring some clarity to this severely fucked up situation.

That night, I fell asleep clutching the pillow that had Joe's scent on it, with tears staining my bruised face. Of all the nights I wish I could erase, this was the one I wished the hardest on.