Autistic Spencer Reid

Chapter 7

"So? What's going on, what aren't you telling me?" JJ was giving Spencer her mum look, the one where she stares through the tops of her eyes and raises her eyebrows, a disapproving stare.

"Fine, I'll tell you, but please don't say anything to the others. I don't know exactly what it is because I've never brought it up to the doctor, but I have my suspicions after doing some research," he twisted his hands together in his lap.

"Okay, I won't tell. But if it's something dangerous then you need to tell Hotch yourself, okay?" JJ warned.

"Yeh, yeh okay. Um, I think I have something called PoTS, it's a disorder of the autonomic nervous system, thought to be autoimmune. It stands for Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome and means that my heart rate increases drastically when I stand from lying, stand for a long time, go up the stairs, eat a lot at once, shower, and other things. I've been lying down before for a good hour and I took a deep breath and my heart rate went up about 40 beats and I felt lightheaded," Spencer half-heartedly chuckled at how ridiculous that was, but JJ didn't even smile so he continued his explanation. 

"My heart rate goes up because my blood automatically pools in my legs when my body should be adjusting to the change in posture, but it doesn't, so there isn't a sufficient amount of blood in my brain. Because of the lack of blood, I get lightheaded, dizzy, blurred vision, tinnitus, sweaty, blood pooling and I can get shaky. I sometimes faint, like today, but most of the time it doesn't get to that point. Do you have any questions? Like I said though, I'm not 100% sure I have it."

"Well, yeh, I have some questions. But they're not that important right now, can I ask them later instead?" JJ wanted time to absorb everything she had just learnt, and they still had to get to the station. 

"Uh, yeh. You can ask them later," Spencer replied, confused about JJ's change in eagerness towards the subject, did he scare her somehow? He didn't know how. He was glad that she dropped the subject for now, but dreading the conversation later.

"Can you stand? We've got to get to the station very soon, the preliminary profile is being released to the officers and we need to be there," JJ held out her hands for Spencer to grasp them and pull himself up.

"Yeh I can stand, I just have to do it slowly," Spencer rose slowly and swayed a bit when he stood up. JJ placed her arm on his elbow to help steady him and he leaned against the counter. He was suddenly aware that he didn't have a shirt on. "Would you mind grabbing me a shirt please?" He used his hands to cover his bare skin. 

JJ left to grab a shirt and Spencer brushed his teeth. She came back and handed him the shirt to put on. She leant her back against the wall, adjacent to the counter where Spencer was. She pulled out her phone and began typing, not even blinking or looking away from her screen. Spencer frowned at this, but finished getting dressed and lightly combed his hair into place.

He put his shoes on and gestured for JJ to walk ahead of him out the door, she obliged but still had her head in her phone, furiously typing. They got in the car and drove to the station, Spencer driving for once.

A few hours later, Spencer is spinning in his desk chair and is visualising the crime scenes, trying to see whether they'd missed anything. JJ walked in and cleared her throat.

"How long have you had these symptoms without telling anyone?" She sounded hurt, not even annoyed, just sad that she hadn't known what was going on.

Spencer abruptly stopped spinning, JJ had startled him. His head spun and he felt sick, but he closed his eyes and waited for it to pass. 

"I noticed them about 10 months ago, but they were nowhere near as bad. I would only get slightly dizzy and the high heart rate wouldn't last as long," Spencer replied, eyes still closed trying to stop the nausea.

"10 months?! Spence, you could've told one of us, we could've helped, and kept an eye on you," now JJ sounded pissed, but she was still deeply concerned. "You said that you faint sometimes, how often and when have you fainted?"

"I mainly faint during a flare up which will last about a week. I've fainted a few times in my apartment, once on a case in LA because the heat caused a flare up, and twice standing in queues. It's been about a month since I fainted last so I thought it was getting better, which is why I haven't gone to the doctor about it yet," Spencer had a guilty look on his face and his cheeks were warming under the scrutiny.

"Spencer Walter Reid, you've fainted that many times and didn't tell us?! I'm so mad at you right now. You could've gotten hurt, we could've helped," JJ was almost crying out of anger. It made her heart wrench to know that Spencer had been struggling with this on his own, that she was right there but hadn't noticed his symptoms or that he hadn't been quite right.

"Hey, I'm fine. Don't worry about it, honestly," he hated seeing JJ so upset about something that he didn't even see as a big deal. So what, he fainted every few weeks and felt like shit every time he stood up? He'd already dealt with this long enough to know how to deal with it. He pulled JJ into a loose hug, he hated these but it was for JJ so he could at least try and comfort her.

"Spencer, promise me something?" JJ whispered.

"Anything."

"Tell me when you need help, when you're going through a flare up, when you need to rest, when you need anything. I want to help so don't start that bullshit about not wanting to be a burden, I want to help you," JJ pulled back from the hug and wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. "I hate not knowing about you needing help and not asking for it, so please don't do that."

"O-Okay, I'll try. Thank you JJ," Spencer said hesitantly. He really didn't want to be a burden to his teammates, but he had been getting worse recently, and could use the help.

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Let me know if you enjoyed this part and I'm open to any suggestions!

Sorry about the wait