It didn't take long for Spencer to feel like death, his head was pounding and his vision blurred. But the test doesn't end until he faints or it's been 45 minutes. He could feel his pulse racing but he still hadn't fainted yet, he knew he shouldn't be hoping to faint but he'd rather faint than be awake for this torture.
Another minute later Spencer had passed out and the nurse immediately administered IV fluids after taking a blood sample. The test was over but the results wouldn't be in for a while so Spencer was taken to a room just down the hall to rest before being discharged,
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"Hey, when can we go home? I feel like sleeping for a week," Spencer was mumbling again, but he was awake and talking, so the nurse walked out to begin his discharge papers.
"Soon Spence, they're doing the discharge papers now. The results of the tests will take a few weeks and will be given to a cardiologist in Virginia, that doctor will be the one you'll go to from then on." JJ smiled at Spencer and sat down on the chair across from his bed.
"The hospital are loaning you a wheelchair until more information is provided because of how bad and frequent the fainting is. You don't have to use it, but it'll be a good idea to have it if you do need it," Rossi gave Spencer a stern look when he saw him roll his eyes.
"I don't need a wheelchair, I'll be fine," Spencer muttered quietly, he hated people taking care of him or anything that would mean he's reliant on something.
"Yeh, okay, carino. Come on, let's get you out of here," Rossi offered his hand to help Spencer up but Spencer gestured for him to back away.
He stood up but soon wobbled, Rossi directing him to a wheelchair before his legs gave out. Spencer put his head in his hands and a tear rolled down his cheek.
Is this what my life is now? Is this my new normal?
He allowed Rossi to wheel him out to the car and help him in but he asked for no music. JJ sat in the back with him and rubbed up and down his arm. She meant it as a calming gesture but it just annoyed him, the comforting gesture reminding him that he's going to need help from them all over the next few months, probably longer, and he hated the thought of being babied.
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A week later everyone had been filled in on the situation and Spencer was back at work. Hotch had told him to take the rest of the week off and recuperate, or at the very least just take some time.
He had ended up using his wheelchair a few times at home when the fainting was particularly bad one day, but he refused to use it more than that. Emily grabbed it when she picked him up on Monday, putting it in the boot of her car and telling Spencer that she'll just store it in her car for the day, just in case he needed it.
In the week that he'd spent off he'd increased his salt intake, water intake, started using compression socks, sleeping more and trying to do 30 minutes of gentle exercise everyday. This is what the doctor had recommended, but he hadn't heard back from the cardiologist yet, as expected.
Luckily, he was feeling okay on his first day back, he'd eaten and had plenty to drink so felt prepared.
He walked over to his desk and sat down, ready to get to work. He flipped through the files on his desk, scanning them as he went.
"Hey Reid, glad you're back. How you feeling?" Morgan asked as he walked over.
"I'm fine, thanks," Spencer responded without even looking up, he didn't want people asking if he was okay all the time.
"Pretty boy, you can talk to me you know?" Morgan smiled, encouraging Spencer to answer him.
"I'm fine, honestly." Spencer went back to his work and Morgan walked back to his desk, looking over at Spencer now and again.
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"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. Everyone needs to stop asking! Please stop asking, I'm fine."
Morgan looked up from his files towards the commotion, it had been a few hours since they'd all sat down to catch up on the paperwork. Spencer abruptly stood up from his desk and rushed out of the room, leaving a few papers scattered across the floor.
Emily stood across from Spencer's desk, mouth open at what had just happened.
"What happened? Is he okay?" Morgan asked Emily, standing up from his desk.
"Uh, I only asked if he was okay... Do you think we should go check on him?" Emily's brows were furrowed in concern and confusion.
"I'll go," Morgan walked in the direction Spencer had left, leaving Emily standing dumbfounded in front of her desk.
"Reid? Reid? Spencer, you in here?" Morgan walked towards the whimpering noise in the far corner of the storage room. There was a deep thudding coming from that direction too so Morgan sped up.
"Reid! Spencer stop, you can't do that, you'll hurt yourself." Morgan tried to restrain Spencer's hand from hitting his head but Spencer just started banging his head against the wall instead.
With his other hand Morgan placed a barrier between the wall and Spencer's head, softening the blow a bit. Spencer was crying, tears streaming down his face, and the noise coming from him would melt anyone's heart; it was a mix of pain and deep sadness.
Morgan had hoped that after a few minutes it would get better but his presence just seemed to be making it worse. It had been over ten minutes and Spencer was still getting more distressed, now rocking and intermittently holding his breath. Morgan assumed this was unintentional but he couldn't have Spencer hurting himself or making himself pass out from lack of oxygen. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick message to Emily.
Derek: Storage room
Emily: On my way
A minute later Emily had gently made her way into the room with Spencer's bag in her arms.
"I don't know how to help, he's holding his breath, he'll end up passing out," Morgan's voice had a clear panicked tone.
"Okay, go behind him and squeeze really tight, bringing his arms against his chest. I'll grab his headphones and switch off the lights," Emily instructed. Morgan quickly moved behind Spencer and squeezed tight.
A few minutes had passed and it still wasn't getting better. Both Morgan and Emily were getting a little bit frustrated that nothing was working, but they were mainly sad that they couldn't help Spencer.
"What happened before this?" Morgan asked, "tell me exactly what you asked and how he reacted."
"He was sitting at his desk, he didn't look great, a little bit agitated maybe. I asked if he was okay, and then he kept repeating he was fine and that everyone needed to stop asking him."
"I had asked him if he was okay this morning, and I heard JJ and Rossi ask him that too, not long after. He hates feeling like a burden, and even though we don't think he is, he'll still interpret that as him being a burden." Morgan's face relaxed a bit at the realisation.
"Spencer, you're not a burden okay? We love you and just want to know that you're okay. You're okay, you're safe, you're loved." Emily kept repeating the last sentence until Spencer fell asleep against Morgan's chest, going limp, eyes red and puffy with tear stains on his cardigan.
"Do you think he'll be okay? These past few weeks seem to have been a lot for him," Morgan asked Emily, stroking his hand against Spencer's curls absentmindedly.
"He will be, he's got us."
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Autistic Spencer Reid
Fiksi PenggemarSpencer's struggling with how to tell his team that he's autistic. He's known for a while, but he's finally ready to begin to unmask; he wants to be himself. He's got a few health issues that are starting to affect him and are making his job harder...
