Alastor x Lucifer oneshots

Skits, kinda. (Part 2)

Lucifer: I put the hot in psychotic

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Alastor: I can't stand you!

Lucifer: Then sit down!

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*Lucifer entering hell*

Lucifer: Heya demons, it's me. Ya boy.

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*If Radioapple was cannon*

Lucifer: B!tch, do you want me to jump across this table? Cause I don't have all day for this. Okay?

Alastor: You feeling froggy? Leap.

Lucifer: Okay, well, here I come

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They're beautiful like...

•Alastor: Blood on snow, fog, radio static, black and white movies, bullets.

Lucifer: Forests, broken glass, Garden of Eden, blood in water, death.

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*If Alastor was a modern-day simp*

*Alastor let out a sigh, staring at Lucifer*

Angel: What's wrong with you?

Alastor: I'm in love

Angel: With who??

Alastor: The kind of hell

Angel: But isn't he about over a thousand years old now?

*Alastor glared at Angel before smacking him away with a tentacle*

Alastor: Age is just a number. Stop trying to ruin it. And also, by the way, he's single and ready to mingle.

*Alastor spoke before looking back at Lucifer*

Alastor: I love him.

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*If simping for Alastor was a sport*

Angel: Well, second place isn't that bad.

Vaggie: There were only two people competing.

Charlie: Wait, who was the other contestant?

*Lucifer walks out with multiple medals around his neck and a trophy in his hand. Waving a stack of money in front of his face to cool himself off*

Angel: You've got to be sh!tting me‐

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*The three types of drunk by Vaggie*

Husker: *Passed out on the bar*

Angel: *Flirting with random guys*

Lucifer: *Doing the Skyrim shuffle on a table to try and impress Alastor*

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*Charlie as a kid wanting to watch My Little Pony*

•Litlith•

Charlie: Mama, can we watch My Little Pony?

Litlith: Maybe another time, I'm very busy at the moment.

*Lucifer*

Charlie: Dad, can we watch My Little Po-

*Lucifer ,already sitting in front of the TV in a Rainbow-dash onesie. The coffee table is already covered in snacks and drinks with a child sized Apple-Jack onesie for Charlie next to it*

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Charlie: I can't really remember when Dad and Mom became Dad and Alastor. But Al was the only one who loved my dad while he was struggling, so in my books, he's definitely alright.

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*DHMIS universe*

Alastor: Hey, what happened to your phone?

Lucifer: I'm saving the battery.

Alastor: Saving the battery for what?

Lucifer: I might want to use Vox-tok. (Hell version of tiktok)

*Alastor sighs*

Lucifer: Anyway, we might as well get used to living in the dark.

Alastor: Yeah...

Lucifer: What?

Alastor: Well, it's just not that great, is it? I wouldn't mind looking at the hotel again, and maybe looking at you.

Lucifer: Really? You like looking at me?

Alastor: Uhm, yeah, I suppose I do.

Lucifer: Well, I like looking at you too.

Alastor: Oh yeah?... Thanks...for that...

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Interviewer: If you could kiss anyone in hell, who would it be?

Lucifer: My beautiful wife, Lilith

Interviewer: That sh!t don't count, she left you-

Lucifer: The radio demon.

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Vaggie: How long did it take for you to fall in love with Alastor?

Lucifer: I would say probably......four minutes.

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*Lucifer playing the piano at 5 AM*

Lucifer: I wanna be talllllllll

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