Random TTTE Fan Episodes and Rewrites

Don't Be Silly, Billy [Season 11] [Rewrite]

Edward puffed into Brendam Docks. He spotted Toby talking to an engine he had never seen before. The engine was small and painted in a vibrant shade of orange.

"Hello!" peeped Edward cheerily.

"Ah, Edward!" huffed Toby, "Maybe you can help me out here. Tell Billy here that he can't get to work until Sir Topham Hatt has spoken to him and he's filled up with coal and water."

Edward studied Billy, confused.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" demanded Billy.

"Well, surely it's all obvious?" puffed Edward.

Billy wheeshed steam impatiently. Before he could protest any more, though, The Fat Controller arrived.

"I see you've all met eachother!" boomed The Fat Controller. The engines all fell silent and smiled in agreement. "Toby and Edward, I know you two know this railway like the backs of your buffers. Therefore, I want you two to take it in turns showing Billy the ropes."

As The Fat Controller continued talking, Billy looked the two old engines up and down. He seemed disgusted.

Things only got worse once The Fat Controller had left.

"You two will slow me down," complained Billy, "why should I have to go slowly for two old-timers?"

Toby was indignant. Without saying a word to Billy, he chuffed off to find Henrietta.

"You know, you won't get very far treating other engines like that," said Edward sternly, "we're here to help you. You don't know this island like we do."

"Bossy boiler!" retorted Billy before he rushed off to be coupled at the front of a long line of empty trucks.

Edward sighed and went to be coupled at the back of the train.

"Which way to the coaling plant, Toby?" whistled Billy.

"Uh, 'Edward'," corrected Edward, "we just need to go straight ahead until we reach Wellsworth Station. What's important to remember_"

"Yes, yes!"

Billy heaved. He was determined to reach the coaling plant as quickly as possible.

Edward did his best to keep Billy in check. Unfortunately, the trucks saw the chance for mischief.

"Faster! faster!" the silly trucks giggled as they pulled forwards.

Billy was loving this. He just played along with the trucks! Edward could do very little with the whole train against him. He felt himself beginning to go faster.

"It isn't sa...ugh!"

Edward's voice was completely lost amongst the clattering of the trucks and the whoosh of steam from Billy's funnel. The train zoomed through stations and whipped around bends. Edward couldn't remember ever going this fast!

Soon, Wellsworth Station came into view. The engines would have to change tracks to reach the coaling plant. However, it didn't seem like they would stop before reaching the junction.

"Slow down!" Edward shouted as loudly as he possibly could. He blew his whistle and his driver frantically waved.

Billy was having the time of his life. It took ages for him to even notice the commotion.

"Oh bother!" said his driver, chuckling a little, "We've missed the junction."

Billy rolled his eyes.

"Fun's over for now," he called to the trucks. He then started slowing down.

"For now," smiled the trucks. They then stopped pushing and allowed the train to slow down and stop.

Edward felt very shaken. He was intent on scolding Billy but he had to wait until they were at the coaling plant just to give himself enough time to calm down!

When they were finally there and ready to fill the trucks with coal, Edward told Billy how dangerous what he had just done was. Billy half listened.

For the rest of his time working with Edward, Billy pushed his luck. He turned onto the wrong tracks. He wheeshed big clouds of steam at stations. He even encouraged the trucks to bump Edward!

Edward was feeling exhausted by the time they had dropped off the coal at the depot. It was only midday and he still had to shunt coaches with Billy at Knapford but he felt like he had already done a day's worth of work.

When the two of them got to Knapford, Toby was waiting there. He was already on his second job of the day.

Edward gave Billy some instructions and left him to get on with his shunting. He then chuffed over to Toby.

"You're going to have a very hard time with him," he whispered, "he doesn't listen to a word I say. He behaves just like the trucks!"

Toby hated seeing Edward so defeated. He had to think of something.

"Billy!" he called suddenly.

Billy hurried over and looked at Toby expectantly.

Edward looked at Toby incredulously but said nothing.

"I have to deliver trucks of stone from the quarry to the docks," Toby said, "but I still have to take passengers across the island. Could you take the trucks for me if I give you directions?"

Billy eagerly accepted.

"Finally, a job where I can go as fast as I like!"

Toby told Billy where to go and watched him leave the station.

"Do you think he'll manage without you?" Edward asked, curious about Toby's plan.

Toby simply said, "I doubt it," and left.

In reality, Toby only had to make a single journey from Knapford to Tidmouth. In no time, the job was done and he was off to the quarry.

When he got there, he found Billy easily; he was where the giggling trucks were.

"I've got to show Toby and Edward that my way is best!" Billy said to the trucks, "Can you help me go super fast so I can get this job done super quickly?"

The trucks loved the sound of this.

Toby knew this wasn't going to end well but he didn't intervene. He stayed hidden and watched.

Billy was coupled to the empty trucks. He wanted to speed away as soon as the trucks were full. The trucks, however, had a different idea.

"Hurry hurry hurry!" they giggled, pushing Billy.

"No no, not yet!" shouted Billy. Suddenly, he realised he had run out of coal. He could do nothing to stop himself rolling forwards. He headed onto a siding that went downhill a little. He kept speeding up.

The buffers snapped in half as Billy went straight through them and into a pile of quarry dust.

"Looks like I'm taking the trucks after all, Billy," chuffed Toby as he came out of his hiding spot.

Billy was fuming but could only cough and sneeze in response.

The Fat Controller was cross when he found out what had happened, but not with Toby; he had gotten the delivery done on time. He sent Billy to work in the scrapyard once he was repaired.

Later that day, Edward said to Toby, "I'm a little surprised that Sir Topham Hatt didn't send Billy away after all that."

"Eh," said Toby, "he wasn't altogether bad. At least he was..."

"Spirited?" offered Edward.

"Spirited," laughed Toby.