Dare To Kiss (GxG)

Chapter 20

When my parents come to pick me up around half an hour later, I don't say much apart from brief obligatory replies to their questions about my first mocks. With my mind still reeling from the short conversation I've had with Elena, I'm in desperate need of some distraction.

And that's where revision comes in.

For an hour or two, I put my thoughts on hold and merely dive straight into my English notes and quotations and my chemistry textbook and past papers. Then after that, another hour of piano and harp practice ensues, further occupying my mind.

However, after dinner, when the day is almost over and my brain feels like it physically cannot handle anymore revision lest it explodes, I slump down onto the couch for a much-needed break as my conversation with Elena replays in my mind on repeat.

There's no reason for us to talk to each other again outside of class.

But what about what happened at the party?

Nothing happened at the party.

It doesn't mean anything.

At least not to me.

I didn't expect Elena's words to affect me so much. I didn't expect them to hurt me.

I shouldn't be so upset, should I? After all, Elena pardoned me and isn't going to make me do anymore stupid dares from now on. That's a cause for celebration, right? It's a good thing, isn't it?

Or have I actually grown fond of the dares, unbeknownst to myself? But that just seems so impossible. The dares appeared to be childish, foolish, and troublesome while they were still ongoing, but now that they're not, will I actually miss them?

But most of all, will I actually miss talking to Elena?

Will I miss her aggressive yet joking texts? Or her sometimes condescending voice that I can always recognise? Or our casual spats and verbal spars that I've grown used to?

If you ask me a year — or maybe even several months — ago, I would've laughed in your face, not believing the situation that I would soon find myself in.

I know all about the horrible things Elena has done, or at least I've heard the rumours and the stories and the accounts and the retellings. I know about her reputation as the queen bee of Westview High. But that Elena isn't the one I see. It isn't the one I know.

Then again, do I really know Elena that well?

I haven't known her personally for long. And even then, she might just be showing me one side of her. We're not close friends by any means, so can I really say I know who she is? Or am I just overthinking things as usual and being extra paranoid about everything?

What does Elena really think of me? Is she just playing me? Am I just a toy that she decides to pick up and throw away at her leisure?

Or as unlikely as it seems, is there something more?

***

The next morning, I get awaken by my alarm at the usual time I set it to. However, I do not feel at all rejuvenated by the little sleep that I've had, which is further shown in the dark circles around my eyes. After repeatedly tossing and turning and being plagued by my overflowing thoughts all night, it's a wonder that I managed to get any sleep at all.

My mum gives me concerning glances during the ride to school, but when she asks me if there's anything I'm troubled with, I reply that I'm just a tad nervous and agitated about the impending mocks. Once I arrive at school, I merely fall into my usual pattern of saying hello and chatting with my friends.