Suited

Twelve

I had a good day. I accompanied Gabriel to a few meetings and not much else. He was very busy today and didn't want help. It was so confusing that he was a submissive. I wondered what types of play Haydn did with him. It couldn't have been anything too intense. He was relatively laid back compared to the man sat a little ways away from me.

Ah, that's what it was. Despite how he was at work, the second Haydn asked something of him, he'd melt. He'd been asked to lunch at his shop today. They'd also progressed to exchanging I love you's. Oddly enough, I didn't feel the way I had when they'd gone to brunch. I was relatively neutral on the matter, actually. Haydn and I hadn't been in love. We'd been comfortable but our last meeting still had me a bit put off.

I decided to get out of the office while Gabriel was gone. He'd be back in two hours and that was plenty of time for me to sit down for a quick meal. Way more than enough. I found myself scarfing down a BLT and back in the car to go to the store.

Lawrence needed new cuffs. I chose the ones he had currently so that he wouldn't feel trapped, but I realized that simply wouldn't work. He needed constant reminders of who he was and who he'd come to be. I also didn't like the thought of Jessie getting in his head and convincing him that this way wasn't normal. Sure, it wasn't normal for me but I could adjust. I was adjusting. Lawrence needed to know his place. He was bound to be mine soon and we both needed a physical marker of that. One that couldn't be removed so easily.

The current cuffs would be better for when he lived with me. I could take the locked cuffs off at the end of a scene and that would let him know he was free to roam and relax and not worry about pleasing me. Or, better, he could choose to keep his buckle pair on and not feel as trapped as with others. I couldn't ignore that they gave him solace but knowing he had the option to free himself would be good for him when he lived in my house.

There was no beating around the bush. I wanted him to feel trapped for these two weeks that he wouldn't be with me. It would help me keep track of him. If he wore locked cuffs and he went and saw some girl, he'd have to explain what they were and why they wouldn't be coming off. Whose they were. Whose he was. And if he fucked somebody while wearing them he'd see and feel and maybe even hear a constant reminder that he wasn't with me where he belonged.

Jessie wasn't wrong. This was very different for me and I knew I was coming off rather strong but I didn't care. Lawrence needed reassurance that I wouldn't lose interest in him and I needed security in that he wouldn't be able to just run away. I got back to the office with thirty minutes to spare and left the box in the backseat to go upstairs.

I did something else that was out of the ordinary when I got to my desk. It would give Jessie another thing to fuss at me about but I felt, from his outburst this morning, it was necessary and part of me thought it would solve at least a few of the problems he had with my... I didn't know what to call it.

Commitment. That would work. I'd allowed Lawrence to call it that, though it didn't really feel like enough.

Five o'clock rolled around and I left the parking garage with a rather ornate box and a metal clasp envelope. I stopped at a bakery to get a box of cookies. I figured they'd be a nice surprise for Lawrence—as if the rest wouldn't. I just wanted to do something nice for him. Extra nice. Today had been a big step for him.

I made myself stop for a tea as well. I needed to calm down. Sure, Jessie was going to have a sit down with me and the last time that had happened it hadn't gone fantastic but this was different. Everything was so fucking different. Hopefully this evening would even things out and make them a little more normal so Mr. Overprotective would get off my back and Lawrence would have another good night's sleep.