Suited

Fourteen

A/N: Double post for the late upload. Enjoy <3

Breakfast, blood pressure log, and my morning prescriptions later, I was in the car on the rear passenger side. Jessie had the radio on the same station as always, a morning show that talked about the weather and sports. I wasn't sure why the latter was interesting to him. He abhorred anything that wasn't basketball and I couldn't care less about any of them, regardless, he let it play and I listened to how somebody had made however many touchdowns or home runs or whatever the fuck.

He glanced at me in the rear view mirror. "Would you like me to pack a bag for you?"

I'd mentioned the other day that Lucas invited me over for the weekend. "Just the medicine should be fine. I haven't asked what to wear yet."

He nodded. "How are things?"

"Really good, actually. I'm glad the week's almost over. I wanna see him." I fiddled with my cuffs. He locked them a tiny bit loose so that air could get through. They were pretty nice to spin around when I needed something to do with my hands. I'd tug on the locks sometimes. He was in control. I would obey.

Another glance in the mirror as if he didn't have a road to watch. "So you're over Amelia?"

Over wasn't the best word. I wasn't over her cheating on me. I wasn't over being high all the time. I missed the sex. I missed being liked. I missed being told I was loved even if she was shallow and unkind and pushy and made me want a hit really badly just to handle her.

Signore wouldn't cheat on me, though. He would treat me right. He'd let me have more mind blowing sex and good hurt that made for great highs and he'd take care of me when I came back down. He was strong and hot and respectful and mesmerizingly sweet but when he got riled up he took a firmer hold on the control he already had and suddenly I wasn't Lawrence Whitacre anymore. Not how I used to be. Not how I used to feel. I was better. His.

We went over a pothole and I glared at Jessie's stupid mirror. "I have a boyfriend."

"Woah, hold on," he said, giving me another glance before he changed lanes. "Did he say that or are you saying that?"

"I asked and he said he'd try." I was trying too, after all. I was trying really fucking hard. I'd even blocked my dealer.

He blinked and zeroed in on the road ahead. "I see. I'll block Amelia's number from the house phone then."

Of course she'd called. I rolled my eyes and shut them. "Thanks. Don't tell Dad."

Jessie walked with me through the sliding glass doors and I was hit with the familiar sterile smell of hand sanitizer, rubber gloves, and lemon to cover the scent of people. This was one of the constants in my life over the years since my incident in college. I used to only go to Pearl Grove but I found that New Pass had that same mixture of clean and struggle I was accustomed to.

Then we were at the check in desk, and Jessie was saying goodbye because I had to do it alone. As always, he assured me I'd be fine and Lucas would want me to give it my best effort. So I did. I intended to make Signore very proud of me.

"Early as always, Lawrence," said Quin. He was the desk attendant. We were the same age. The intake station was part of his internship for university. He also held the morning meditation and group activity. He flashed me a smile as I picked up the pen to put my name and Jessie's name and phone number in the book. "How's it going?"

"Good," I answered. He echoed the word back as a question and I chuckled. "I can't have a good morning without people being confused?"

"No, I'm happy for you, you just normally say fine. What's good about it so far?"