Suited

Forty Two

Lawrence Whitacre's Point of View

Signore went with Gabriel to the training facility for the entrance ceremony. They had to give speeches. That was never my kind of thing, so even if I was invited, I wouldn't have wanted to go. There was a dinner though. That was what I was looking forward to, aside from my quiz. Contrary to the popular consensus, I actually liked them. The parties were just an unfortunate coping mechanism. I liked tests the way Gabriel liked public speaking. It was an opportunity to show off.

At ten sharp, I made my way down to the business center on cloud nine. Meds were taken, snacks were consumed, and my bag was packed. I didn't bother bringing everything from the desk since it'd be a hassle and most of it wasn't allowed anyway. I had my laptop and water. That was all I needed. No scrap paper or pens, no headphones, and hopefully no distractions. It was really pretty in here. One of the staff members led me to a room with lots of natural light and open spaces. She was pretty and the soft red uniform worked for her skin tone but aside from a polite greeting and thanks, I didn't give her much of my attention. I locked the door behind me and picked a spot by the window, setting up quickly. With my laptop centered, water to my right, and bag stowed under the table, I logged into Zoom five minutes ahead of the start time and waited.

Ten fifteen rolled around and class was in session. After the standard spiel on academic dishonesty and the like, we were dismissed to begin, so I closed every tab and opened the special browser, following the silly directions like pan the camera around the room, say the alphabet into the microphone, and show your student ID. I still had my old one. I really needed to retake the photo.

We were given fifty minutes . The test included multiple choice and written answers, and frankly, we had way too much time. I wasn't going to complain though. It gave me time to double check my responses. I submitted my quiz with twenty nine minutes to spare. It was graded ten minutes later. I received a ninety two percent. I sipped my half empty water as I stared at the screen. I expected higher. A ninety two couldn't be right; I'd studied. It wasn't like my notes were wrong.

I chalked it up to the change in environment. That was the only variable. I was in a different office, in a different state, and this was evian water instead of my normal Voss. I made myself shut my computer instead of emailing my professor for a redo. Evert told me months ago that I couldn't keep being such a perfectionist with these things. Though there definitely was such a thing as perfect in academia, focusing on it only made me spiral, and I didn't want to start rehab all over again. I focused on the fact that I passed. From his reviews, a ninety anything from this professor was something akin to a miracle. He asked a lot of trick questions and the written answers had to be specific, yet concise, without any sort of spelling or grammatical errors. He was strict, but not as strict as I thought Haydn to be, who was waiting for me outside in a silk shirt and well tailored pants with his arms folded across his chest.

"How'd it go?"

I had to look up at him and, honestly, I wondered if he would ever stop being intimidating. Signore had, and I'd known him just as long, but Haydn was like a fiberglass cane. I wanted absolutely no part of him. Even still, I followed him down the hall. "Not terrible."

He asked what grade I got and I told him. He laughed at me. "What's that look on your face for? That's not bad!"

"It's not a hundred." We stopped at the cafe and I grew jealous that he could have a regular drink and I was stuck with half-caf but I let it slide. He said I reminded him of his sibling. Apparently, xe were a huge stickler about percentages too. Xe had good reason to be though with the programs xe were going into, in my opinion. I was just crazy.

"You know Alberici would lose his shit if he heard you call yourself names."

Yeah, him and my therapist. And my therapist's boy. And my doctors and their boys. If that many people thought I was sane, then maybe I was. Then again, a specific breed of crazy ran in my family that normal people seemed to find charming, so perhaps I just had a less potent version of whatever that was. Or maybe more potent. Whichever interval would land me where I was.