Suited

Twenty Seven

The days were flying by and my birthday was inching ever closer. People kept bringing it up too. It was strange. Usually it was dinner and a good bit of wine and I didn't have to think about it but now people kept asking me things. Signore wanted to know how gifts usually went and was absolutely pissed at the notion that my family didn't do gifts for birthdays. It wasn't just mine. Birthdays in general. He went to work that day with fire in his eyes.

Gabriel actually called me that day. I had no doubt Signore had something to do with it because the topic of gifts came up again. I had no idea what I wanted. Whenever I wanted something, I bought it myself, and I didn't want alcohol or blow so I was kind of stumped. I thought maybe a puzzle because Signore and I did them together but Gabriel made fun of me for that. Actually, it was more teasing than anything. It just hurt a little more because I knew he didn't like Signore.

I decided to tell him I went to art therapy. That was the group session I decided to pick up. I didn't tell him much about it though, just that my therapist recommended I try painting again. He claimed to be proud of me. Even more shocking, he invited me to coffee. I just had to pick a day. Part of me worried something was wrong between him and Haydn because that was the case the last time he asked to see me but it wasn't urgent. He just wanted to hang out together. Like old times.

I had to get off that phone but not before telling him I loved him because honestly I did. I almost had a heart attack when he said it back. He hadn't in what? Maybe a decade? It had been before I started using, when we hated me for existing, rather than legitimate reasons. I didn't blame him one bit. I'd been in middle school when our fighting started. The worst three years for everyone involved. Except these past three years. At least back then I had utility to him. In recent times I was just the lump under the covers in the room down the hall too rancid to traverse. He was seeing I was better. Not quite perfect, but a little more normal each day.

Mom called too and demanded brunch together before I headed off to art on Friday. Signore gave me the go ahead so I took an Uber to the house. Standing outside the front door was surreal. Part of me wished Signore said no. Then I wouldn't have to turn the knob and enter. I did it anyway, fear and all. This was worse than knowing I'd be caned. I sat down in my chair by the wall rather gingerly. Signore took good care of my stripes but I was still a little tender.

Mother made a concerned face from the chair across from me. There was poster board with magazine cutouts and a binder between us. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine," I assured. I guess I'd been too careful. "I'm just..." There was no way to excuse this without it sounding dirty because it was. "I'm a little sore."

She looked down at my cuffs, then back up at my face. "Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"What? No! Of course not." She was a natural blonde before the grey and the lightener from her highlights went to her brain a bit sometimes but she wasn't an idiot.

She laughed and sipped her coffee. Setting down the cup, she said, "I've been on this earth a lot longer than you have. You can tell me anything, you know. I don't scare easily."

"There's nothing to tell." She didn't believe me one bit but instead of pressing, she walked over to the living room and brought back a cushion for me to put on my chair. Stubborn but grateful, I thanked her.

"Fine, I'll just ask," she backtracked, plopping down in her seat again. I set down my water. I'd been about to drink it but her tone made me worry. "You've been walking around in cuffs for over a month. Are you a sub?"

My jaw dropped.

"It's Lucas, right?"

How the hell—