Suited

Twenty Eight

Friday afternoon was cold, yet I was outside on the beach again. This time, painting. I faced the gazebo even though the light was in front of me. Medu lent me an easel after my group session with her to try my hand at a sizeable landscape. I started with the sketch. Though I had some time, Signore would be picking me up at five. Two hours wasn't nearly enough to finish the whole piece. Part of me worried I'd bitten off more than I could chew. My birthday was only four days away.

I began painting that night, only stopping to sleep because Signore needed help. If he hadn't, I would have continued through sunrise. Once freed, I was back in the office with the new full-sized easel I bought that I hadn't felt like dragging to New Pass the day before. Five hours of my life were sucked into this canvas. I was grateful to like it enough not to destroy it upon completion.

What's more, Signore poked his head in while I cooked lunch and told me it was beautiful. Now, that time was definitely well spent in my mind. What would I do for the other? No, lunch. Lunch was more important. I should probably call Gabriel as well. We were supposed to go for drinks. I scrolled through Yelp as we ate until I happened upon a quirky little cafe. Signore was fully engrossed in his tablet and sloppy joe. This meal was entirely my decision and when he said he'd never had one, I decided it was a need. With a held-back giggle, I watched as he wiped his hands, then mouth, and clicked through the text I sent him.

"I feel that you would know what tuo fratello would enjoy more than I would, ragazzo."

"Lo so, but you're with him every day. Gli prepari il caffè, no?"

"Sì ma no con i funghi."

I pouted. I'd have to ask if he'd like to try it then. Given how stubborn he was, I had no interest in asking him to try something new, and I worried that this would potentially set us back somehow, but I called anyway in the office. I almost hung up after the third ring, but he answered at the beginning of the fourth.

He said yes. I had the inkling that I'd interrupted something intimate—maybe aftercare from how tired they sounded—but he said yes because I said Haydn could come along. Of course, I wouldn't go without Signore, and I made that known as politely as possible, which wasn't that difficult. He even said I sounded happy. The antidepressant must be starting to work.

Signore said yes, too, so he begrudgingly found something for me to wear, and I begrudgingly put it on to embark on a double date. The second we'd been on as a couple. Though nervous, I had a tinge of excitement as I sat on the heated passenger seat. My brother and I had our differences, but we had a minutia of common ground. We could sit through coffee and not hate it.

We arrived first, claimed a table, and Signore let me sit on his lap. I felt like I got a little clingy during the weekends. It was like my subconscious knew what was coming before the rest of me did. The closeness cushioned the blows bound to arrive. Maybe they wouldn't be blows. What were we doing tonight?

No. Signore was sharing coffee cake with me. The healthy slice was split in half and we each had our own forks but it was still cute and thus way more important than thinking about what could happen tonight. I leaned back into his chest, fidgeting with my cuffs. Maybe this was a bad idea. Gabriel agreed to meet at three but it was five past and he wasn't here yet. He hadn't texted either. He was probably tucked up in bed with Haydn laughing their asses off at how excited I'd been that they'd agreed.

They were just late. I needed to chill out. It actually went well. No one killed each other. There was no talk of safe words or New York or couch sex. It went so well that I gave Gabriel the little flower painting I did in therapy. He didn't rip it up and throw it away. He called it lovely. I chose to believe he was being honest.