Dark waters

10. Good and bad

”I’ll take the tray to the galley and then I’ll come back here.”
Cole stacked the trays on each other and took them from the desk.
He got no reply and turned to meet Tan’s gaze.
Tan nodded, but it was obvious he had more to say.
Cole raised his eyebrows at him.
Tan shifted nervously.
“Would you stay the night?”
Cole smiled.
“Sure. I just need to grab the soft pants that I normally sleep in from my cabin. I won’t be long.”
Tan relaxed with a smile and gave him a nod.

Vock looked up from the stove when Cole walked in to the galley.
“Took your sweet time eating that dinner.”
“Sorry. I can help you with the dishes if you’d like. You don’t have to stay up for that.”
Vock tilted his head when Cole came closer.
“I don’t know what you two have been doing, but it looks like it got ruff.”
Cole gave Vock a confused look before he realized what Vock was looking at.
“Oh. That… Tan showed me some collections and I leaned in without him realizing. He turned his head. That’s it.”
Vock nodded.
“I see. For a moment I thought you two had got in to some rough play or something.”
Cole shrugged, even if he felt his cheeks get warmer.
“Should I help you with the dishes?”
Vock shook his head.
“No. It’s fine. I think the captain wants you back in his bed as soon as possible any way.”
Vock gave him a knowing look when he took the trays.
Cole didn’t have an answer, so he just gave Vock a nod and walked away.

Tan was standing by his desk when Cole stepped in to the cabin. He gave Cole a smile and put down the device he had been looking at.
“The bed might be a bit small for two, but I think we’ll manage.“
“Sure. I’ve never shared a bed before, but if I roll over you or anything, just push me back or something.”
Tan smiled.
“There are many things I would do if you rolled over me, and pushing you back isn’t one of them”, he teased.
Cole chuckled and shook his head.
“As you wish.”

Tan’s bed was a bit bigger than Cole’s, which Cole was grateful for when they crawled in to it together.
Tan was quick to pull Cole close and wrap his arms around him. To avoid Tan’s horns, Cole leaned his head against Tan’s chest.
In the silence that followed, they could hear the ocean outside the hull and the low creaks and hums from the ship. Cole could also hear the steady beat of Tan’s heart, with the deep breaths causing slow movements in his torso.
It was quite peaceful to just lie there.

Tan fell asleep pretty soon. Cole could hear the slow shift in his breathing and felt his body relax.
With the quiet darkness came the thoughts. He felt something strongly for Tan and wondered if it was love. He didn’t know much about it. What surprised him the most was that the feeling actually scared him. He was afraid to attach such a strong emotion to one person, not knowing what it would lead to. The mere thought of losing Tan dug a cold hole in his stomach.
Was that love? To live in constant fear of losing the person you were attached to?

Cole slowly moved his head to glance at Tan’s face. He could barely see him in the dark, but the sight still sent a surge of emotions through him. He wanted to scoop Tan up and hold him in a strong embrace so that nothing ever could hurt him.

It had to be love.
Either that or he was losing his mind…

Cole lifted his hand and gently touched Tan’s horn. He followed the curve pass the ear up to the head.
It surprised him how warm they were. Half the horns were cool, but the part close to his head was quite hot.

Cole leaned his head on Tan’s chest again and closed his eyes. He sighed deeply and focused on the sound of Tan’s heartbeat. After a while, he managed to keep his mind calm for long enough to fall asleep.

Cole woke up when Tan turned around and flopped over him.
Tan’s chin leaned against Cole’s head while his arm wrapped around Cole’s shoulders.
Cole realized he needed to bring his own pillow if they were going to make it work. He needed to sleep further down in the bed, so Tan could move his head without the risk of hitting him. Cole would get more than a black eye if they tried to share a pillow.