Boys of The New Squidbeak Splatoon

Chapter 1: Everything's Coming Up Three!

I was gonna stay on ao3 but then I realized how much Wattpad fans love gay guys so I decided to also publish chapters here! This story starts in-between Splatoon 2 and 3, making our heroes 18-20 years old. If I get far enough into it, expect new agent 3 and all the fun stuff 😎 I'm still working on chapter two...

Also, you may laugh at my lazy cover 💀 I can both draw and use SFM so there's not much of an excuse to never come back and make a better one :P -Greenthebro

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Like how there's always a brown part on a banana, there's a sour octoling in a city of inkfish. To the passersby, it looks like he only smiles at the expense of others. Some call him a force to never be reckoned with, others simply see him as a disgruntled neighbour. What they did not know was his secret identity, and that he is off to meet up with his fellow agents on this clear yet cool morning. One thing that gave him motivation to get through a day like this was the lovely hint of orange in the sky at this time, it told him that a wonderful summer afternoon lay ahead.

There were six of them– A pair of cousins known for their heavenly melody, their old man who recently retired as the captain, and two boys around the octoling's age. One was a gentle inkling with turquoise tentacles, now donning the captain's hat. The other, also an inkling but with green tentacles, was intelligence wrapped in a hip and trendy exterior. 8 somehow tolerated those boys, he was seen by the others as the one who drinks his coffee black.

His favorite thing about meeting up with everyone is seeing that new captain, who's had his heart since the day they met. Despite retiring his number, everyone still calls him 3. Talking with him in Cuttlefish Cabin was 4, the green menace. 8 thought 4 was a cool guy, even a great roommate, but is also fully aware that he likes 3 just as much as he does. "So, you up for a pizza tonight?" 4 winked at 3.

"Oh, that sounds nice." 3 smiled, but clearly 8 did not find that very nice and quietly approached the two. "His broke ass couldn't take you anywhere nicer." said 8 with a smirk that masked his jealousy. "I'm available tonight too, and I could get us front row seats at Off The Hook's concert."

"That says nothing about your wallet!" shot 4. "You only get front row seats 'cause Pearl and Marina adopted you!" His words didn't faze 8, until the green inkling began teasing him for being a "mama's boy." 8 glared, and under his breath he muttered "Dumbass squid."

"Hey, stop fighting!" commanded 3. "Is it illegal for all of us to have a nice outing together?" he asked hopefully. "Yeah big guy, be a little nicer to your co-workers." chucked 4, getting a quiet growl from the octoling. "Though admittedly, I liked 8's idea." giggled the captain. "I think Off the Hook would be more than happy to give us all front row seats!"

4 sighed in defeat. How could he compete with his octoling friend? These days, it's all about Off the Hook. The ability to attend their shows was a status symbol, and getting front row seats was comparable to being an aristocrat among the average cephalopod. Though it's not like he wasn't a fan of them, so of course he agreed to the idea. Thankfully, the concert wasn't until later tonight.

In the meantime, they had to kill time. "What suit should I wear?" 8 muttered to himself, which was definitely a mistake.

"Oh? What's the tux for?" asked 4, skeptically.

The octoling glared at him, unintentionally sending the message that he's dressing to the nines to impress 3. 4 shot him a smug smile. "Two can play that game, bro."

8 just quietly hissed to himself before quickly making his leave for Arowana Mall. He knew 4 would probably be there doing the same thing now, but hoped they wouldn't run into each other.

A quick bus ride brought him to the mall, where there were quite a few shops selling formal wear. To 8, the shop he went into had a rather unimpressive selection of designs. He was about to get frustrated, until someone called his name. It was an inkling boy. "I swear to Octo Christ if that's 4."

He turned around to see...3? 8 couldn't have felt more relieved, and warmly greeted him. "What brings you here?" he asked.

"I had to pick up something from the post office." replied 3. He had no issue carrying the heavy box in his cheaply made backpack, but 8 decided to...Well, be 8. "Need help with that?" asked the octoling in a flirtatious tone, but 3 shook his head. That didn't mean he was giving up just yet.

"I don't want you tiring yourself out, it wouldn't be a good look on you."

A somewhat confounded 3 gave him his bag, and 8 also didn't have an issue carrying it. Those two have the most physical strength in the Splatoon after all! If you don't count Marie...

The two smiled at each other, which had the side effect of making 8 blush pretty badly. "What should I get?" asked 8 as they continued standing in front of the wide array of tuxedos. "I think you should get the black one, it reminds me of your agent fit." replied 3.

As they laughed and got the outfit, 4 watched them from outside, furious. As soon as they got out of the store, he quickly ran up and loudly greeted them. "HEYYY BOYS, HOW WAS THE STORE? DID YOU GET ME ANYTHING 3? I KNOW YOU WOULD!"

"I didn't." said 3.

"It's the end of the world." sighed 4 as he collapsed to the ground in another moment of defeat. "Geez, get up you overdramatic idiot." scoffed 8. 4's luck would turn around when 3 helped him up. "Thank you, my fair gentleman!" grinned the green menace, kissing the other's hand for style points. "Quit it!" snapped 8. "You're embarrassing yourself! More importantly, you're embarrassing ME!"

3 enjoyed this trip to the mall, as his two friends bought him at least one thing from every store they went into. If 8 got him chocolates, 4 got him expensive chocolate, then 8 got him an entire cake, then 4 got him a rose, then 8 got him a bouquet of them, then 4 got...3's hands were full of stuff.

4's next advance was bringing the captain onto the roof, for a beautiful view of Inkopolis. "Ain't it sweet?" he asked confidently. "It's definitely beautiful." smiled 3. "I know something more beautiful." said 4, smugly.

"The rush of a good turf war?!" responded 3 with sparkles in his eyes.

"Uh, no actually. I was gonna say-"

"THERE you are." growled 8.

"WHAT?! YOU?!" shouted 4. "3 texted me, he wanted me to see the view too." snickered 8, proudly holding his phone with the messages to 4's face. He sighed, wondering if 8 had better game. "No way! He's just a rich snob! 3 likes a genuine guy!"

Both sat on the bench on the rooftop, sitting on either side of their beloved. 3 smiled, he loved his friends so much. It was contagious, spreading to the duo who were just at each other's throats seconds ago. "I'm excited for the concert tonight." smiled the captain.