A Ghoul in the Making by Ryder Frost

Chapter 28: Feelings

Alright, strap yourselves in, this chapter is going to focus on Orpheus and how he's feeling and how he copes with it. CW: negative self-talk. Don't worry, Perseus and Artemis are there to save the day. 

After lunch Orpheus made his way to his room. His thoughts were racing, and he slammed his door, pacing the floor. He sat down on his bed and shook the thoughts away, but they still came anyway. He tries and he tries but nothing is ever good enough so the darker his thoughts became, he was full of self-loathing and yet, if you saw him in the halls you'd never notice. He hid his self-loathing with false bravado and bullying. "You're not good enough, you'll never be good enough." His mind told him over and over, it was exhausting him, and he slammed his fist into the wall, putting a hole through the drywall. He winced and shook his sore hand. "No wonder nobody likes you, you're so weak, you can't even stand up to Imperator without cowering under her shoes." Orpheus thought these things forgetting that others could hear him. "They don't care anyway, just shut them out it's easier this way." Orpheus gripped his head and ears, willing the thoughts to stop but as they continued, he found himself believing them. He sighed into his hands and tears slipped from his eyes as he sank deeper into his head. "You're pathetic, you're not strong at all. You're just a coward." He didn't even notice when his door opened, and Perseus walked into his room. The little Water Ghoul touched the big Earth Ghoul's shoulder, it startled and made Orpheus snarl and swipe at him with his claws. Perseus dodged and held his hands up. "Take it easy, it's just me big guy." "Oh sorry" Orpheus mumbled softly; he felt his bed dip as the Water Ghoul sat down. "I heard your thoughts Orpheus, so did Artemis. Orpheus snorted, as if the Ghoulette cared about him at all, she had her precious Quintessence for a mate now. Perseus sighed as he caught that thought as well. The door opened and Artemis walked into the room. "Of course, I still care about you, I may have a mate, but you and I are still Pack and that'll never change." She walked over to sit at the desk in the corner of his room. "I know things aren't as you wanted them to be Orpheus, but I love whom I love but a Pack Connection is still very strong and I'm sorry you're hurting so much." Orpheus looked at his Pack mates and tears rolled from his eyes again and he sank into himself, he knew he could be vulnerable around them, and they wouldn't think less of him. "I'm sorry I've been such an asshole to you both, a leader shouldn't act as I do." Perseus playfully punched the big Earth Ghoul and smirked. "You've always been a bit of a hot head and you're not even a Fire Ghoul, but you've never led us wrongly." Artemis moved to the bed and sat next to the two men and chuckled. She reached around and hugged the Earth Ghoul around the shoulders and tussled his hair. "You'll be alright Orpheus; we all will be." She smiled and walked out of the Lair.