Fatal Infatuation [18+]

Ⅱ

A baby Evelyn stood in her mother's arms, cradled into her warmth and trembling arms, clinging to the dirty hospital gown that flowed over her body. Margaret wept softly, her salty tears falling atop Evelyn's hairless head. Evelyn only looked up at her with a wonderous, admirable gaze that only filled Margaret with more dread. She cried and quivered, not because she was overjoyed with the newfound wonders of motherhood, but because she knew this was the last time she'd see her baby. The last time she would look at her face, and notice the way her cheeks were rosy and full. The way her toothless smile caused her baby blue eyes to light up and her eyelids to crinkle. 

The last time she would feel her, the skin-to-skin contact that filled her with pride upon the realization that she gave birth to such a beautiful child. But, Margaret was still a child herself. There was nothing but misery in store for both of them if she continued mothering Evelyn. At least the social workers and Margaret's parents thought so. There was a part of her that wanted so desperately to run out of that hospital with Evelyn clutched to her chest, to a beautiful place outside of their dull town where they could be happy and fulfilled, knowing they had each other. It hurt her so badly to know that she would never experience the full lengths of motherhood, and she worried that she next time she would give birth that she would never feel the same attachment as she felt with Evelyn. 

And so, Margaret continued to cry, her frail body shaking with every sob she released and every breath she took. Evelyn had no idea what was happening, or why her mother, her favorite person on this planet, and the first person she ever looked at, was crying with so much pain and anger. Of course, Evelyn was far too young to register the emotions that either of them felt. The social worker approached, and Margaret's sobs and pleas only increased in volume, and the tightness with which she held Evelyn increased, too. 

"Please don't take her, not yet." Margaret wailed, her tears staining the blanket that Evelyn was swaddled in. Her face was swollen and red, her eyes were tired and puffy, her short ginger hair in knotted braids. 

Her mood turned to anger as her thoughts turned to her parents. She was angry because she knew they were right when they said that a 15 year old would be a terrible parent, that the baby would have no future. But a part of her believes that she would learn. That she would force herself to learn how to care for herself and Evelyn, how to be independent and how to provide for her. With a sorrowful frown, the social worker gently reached her arms out to take Evelyn away. Margaret's breaths came in quick and shallow as she realized that this was the end. She couldn't breathe. She felt as though her throat was closing, her heart was being torn into, and a piece of her was being ripped from her arms. Her arms suddenly felt light and she knew that that was it. It was over. She was gone. 

She erupt into a separate fit of sobs and screams as she watched the social worker walk away holding the only thing that had ever meant anything to her. Evelyn only looked back at her mother from the social worker's shoulder, feeling the same growing pit in her stomach, and she soon began crying too. 

22 years had passed since that moment. 11 foster homes. 10 foster parents. 1 family. She thought fondly of the moment she was adopted. Fully adopted, by one of her favorite foster families, Sterling and Wyatt Crawford. An admirably perfect couple, who lived in the perfect house on the quiet outskirts of town. Sterling was the more authoritarian parent, while Wyatt was seemingly always full of joy and love. Together, they formed the perfect family. When they first discovered Evelyn, they took her presence as a gift from God. She was, and still is, the golden child that any parent would be lucky to have. With her shy and cavalier attitude, she never felt the need to misbehave or engage in mischief. 

Still, no child can be perfect, especially a child that had been pushed around so many different homes and environments. She struggled to find and maintain friendships, she struggled to fit in with other children of her age group, she attached herself to her parents in a way that would make an outsider shake their head in disappointment and comment that she needed to learn to be independent. She couldn't. She had no one to depend on, no one to truly trust, because it all felt futile and shortlived. She knew that happy moments were sporadic, so she learned not to bask in the glory of happiness for too long. But, when Sterling and Wyatt showed her more love and appreciation than she could even process, she immediately warmed up to them. 

The realization that she had no real sense of independence set in when she began attending highschool, when she would watch her peers engage with friendliness and form groups, when she would hear them make plans that involved being alone without their parents, she began to wonder what that was like. Until the age of 17, she had never been outside alone. At the adoption center, they would all be forced to go outside together. At her foster homes, she would be accompanied by her foster families. Even with the Crawfords, she never wanted to be out of their sight. Wyatt would gently suggest that she begin talking to her classmates, that she would implicate herself in class projects and enter conversations. 

She felt unsure, both of herself and of the way her peers would react to her. They would never attempt to engage with her besides when they'd accidentally bump into her in the corridor and be forced into apologizing. They gave her the occasional weird glance when they saw her sat at the lunch-table alone, eating the lunch that Wyatt and Sterling had packed for her. It was at the age of 18 that she found herself craving a sense of freedom and independence, so, she moved out of her parent's home and into a small apartment, where she found a job working at a cafe. She considered furthering her education, going to college and university, but she thought that life was too short to continue waiting for a sign. So, since that day, she's been doing virtually whatever she wants. And she enjoyed this small, comfortable life.