Fatal Infatuation [18+]

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(Unknown POV)

Here's everything I know about you, Evelyn. I know your apartment is exactly within 20 minutes of walking distance from your workplace, which takes me exactly 14 minutes to drive to when I'm following you home. A drive that would usually take me less than 5 minutes, but I slow myself down because I also know that fast cars fill you with anxiety. I know that your apartment building is pleasantly vacant, that you have almost no neighbors and no one to bother you with incessantly loud music or unpleasing sounds. I also know that there are exactly 6 cameras in your whole building. 

One of the cameras is in the main hall, one of the cameras is in the elevator, two cameras are on the first floor, one of the cameras is on the second floor, and no more cameras exist after the third floor, which means that there are no cameras on your floor. The one thing that these cameras all have in common is that they're old, fuzzy, and barely work, which means that the lightest tap against the far-left edge of the camera would make it stop working completely. I know that this is all due to the shoddy, lazy work of whoever owns this building, and I know that you don't mind it. You appreciate the quaint, intimate aspect of life, and that doesn't mean living in the gaudiest building or having the flashiest clothes or gadgets. 

I know that if someone were to offer you 1 million dollars, you'd immediately decline without giving it a second thought. You don't live to make money or rise to the top, you live to experience things to their fullest and bask in the glory of independence and freedom. You live authentically without even realizing it. But you don't have to realize things, because I'm here to help you. You don't have to spend too much time worrying or sulking, because I know exactly how to cure you of any pain or ailment you feel. 

I know that when you're sad, you retreat to your shell like a tortoise and drown the rest of the world out, because you feel your feelings so intensely that even the slightest trace of sadness in your mood will bring your whole world down. And I also know that when you're sad, you don't prefer hugs or gifts, you prefer to be left alone in the little world that you created in your head. I know that your mood changes like the weather, and that you cannot control it no matter how hard you try. I know you rarely feel angry, and when you do, it all comes crashing down and everything around you is affected. I know that what should be feelings of anger, are replaced by feelings of existential dread and bouts of depression. 

I know that you hate allowing yourself to feel these things, but you also have so much stored inside of you that it gets overwhelming and crowded in your brain. I know that's why you surround yourself with so much joyous imagery, so many bright colors and so much light and nature, to ignore the feelings brewing inside. I know that's why you prefer to stay at work rather than going home, even though your home is one of your favorite places on the planet. 

I know that not everything in your life is good. I know about your past battle with self harm from the faded slits down your thighs that trailed all the way below your knees, and I know that's the reason you rarely wear shorts or skirts or anything that could reveal those permanent scars. I know that you continuously struggle with alcoholism because you think that the only time you can be your most authentic self is when you're drunk, because when you're drunk, nothing else matters. I know that you've tried to quit several times but every time you do, your friends invite you out for drinks and you can't bring yourself to say no because you already feel that you owe them so much for tolerating you. 

I know that you deserve all the love, all the appreciation, all the friendship, all the credit. I know that I'm ready to give that to you, no matter what. No matter what obstacle stands in my way. I know, that for you, I'm ready to give it all up. For you, my angel, I would set the world on fire.