Endlessly

Prologue

Prologue

People come and go... We all know that. Some are meant to stay. Some are meant to go and leave. But we must understand that for each and everyone who had left has their reason for leaving us behind.

Ang masakit kasi sa pag-alis eh yung hindi mo ginusto, yung di mo inakala. Yung parang surprise na ginulat ka na lang bigla habang busy ka sa pagtulala.

Yon. May iba na kapalaran ang maging masaya instantly, meron namang iba, butas ng karayom, limang bundok, at durog na puso ang pagdadaanan bago tuluyang masabing "Finally".

Pero ang pinaka-importante, nakuha mo man yang happy ending mo nang instant na parang noodles o sa isang mahabang proseso, hindi ka humintong maniwala, na isang araw o isang gabi ay matatapos din ang hirap, darating ang inilaan sa'yo. Yung taong ginawa ng Diyos para makasama mo, sa hirap at ginhawa, sa lungkot at saya, " 'till death do us part."

Ang istorya ko, namin pala, eh may kaibahan sa karaniwan..

It all began one summer when she passed away so suddenly. Passed away ba agad kamo? Eh dun kasi magsisimula ang butas ng karayom ko, limang bundok at durog na puso. It was my fault. I insisted to go to our tree house beside the hills of Tagaytay when all she wanted to do was paint my room.

We built the house together when we were in our senior year. We began as bestfriends. Totoo.

Hindi ko alam na I would fall for her like this when I noticed her in our first day in high school in the school's bench, reading a book in her lap. I never really gave emphasis to how I see her as a girl and not as a friend. But when some guy started to jerk around and ask her number and on a date, I began to notice this feelings I had for her boiling up inside of me, wanting to explode and tell her that she was so damn pretty. She was really pretty, pero siyempre di lang yun ang nagustuhan ko sa kanya. Kung yun lang siguro e baka masabi kong in love ako sa populasyon ng babae sa mundo. You get what I mean?

With some luck or I don't know, baka gwapo lang talaga ako at mabait(Joke), she felt the same way for me too. Well I guess it's not luck, maybe..

It's just meant to be.

She's not just a girl dude. It's not everyday you would come across someone like her. Jane ang pangalan niya and man she was really something. ('was', the thought that I have to use past tense gives me the shivers). There are days she dress like a real girl and some days she puts on her jeans and an oversized t-shirt and bam! She's just perfect like that. Her smile has some kind of power granted from above that can turn your bad day into something so wonderful.

"Hey? What's with the face. Get up man. Okay lang yan. Sinabi na kasi sayo, wag puro DOTA, pustahan pa kayo, imba naman ang team nyo." Mang-aasar yan ng ganyan pero alam ko naman na pinapagaan nya lang ang sitwasyon pagkatapos kong matalo nang P150 sa pustahan sa dota.

"Wow haa, thank you. Kaya mahal na mahal kita. Ang lakas maka-build up ng words mo."

And she will just flash me her smile, that one that looks like it was invented for her and bats her eyes.

"Nakakainis. Ang ganda mo." Sasabihin ko, kasi yun ang totoo. Hindi nya papansinin ang comment ko kasi para sa kanya nambobola lang ako, but for me, I meant every word I said except 'Nakakainis'.

"I want to show you something ummm -- cute? I ain't finished yet but tingin ko you'll love it. Tayo ka naaa." she'd say.

"Why? Is your face in there? or mine?", I'd jokingly say still sitting in our tree house's stairs.

Rolling her eyes with a smile on her face and flush cheeks, "Oh please, just get up and you'll see."

Watching her, just watching her hair pushed back behind her shoulders, eyes that had long lashes completes my day. She paints our faces perfectly on a plain wall in their backyard with "Endlessly" by The Cab playing in the background and I .. would give anything just to be in that moment again with her sunshine always sticking with her, lighting up my day, my world.

So much flash back. So yeah I wanted to propose. Alam ko na nung simula pa lang na siya na ang gusto kong makasama at maging ina ng mga anak ko. Prepared ako, you know, with all the cheesy gestures that every girl in the world would dream of but wouldn't admit by themselves. What I didn't saw coming ay prepared na din pala ang kapalaran na subukin ako. Instead, our car was hit by a bus. I was badly hurt, but she ...

she was gone in an instant.

My heart ached, and my body too. I thought that'd be the last time I would see her and for some miracle...

I was wrong.