Endlessly

7

The drive to Sid's apartment was filled with laughs and stories. Being with her is always like this. We exchange jokes with each other once in a while.

And then we saw her door saying hello two blocks away.

"Thanks for the pizza, Nick. And the ride home." She sounded so tired, but I'm glad that she gave a hard laugh on our way because of one of the jokes I cracked.

"Wala yun. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah. See you."

I slid in my car and waved goodbye.

I can see from my rearview mirror that she's waiting for my car to fade in view. I felt sorry for Sid, that Derek cheated on such a cool girl like her. I'm so deep in my thoughts that I didn't notice that Jane is sitting shotgun beside me. I was a bit surprised but I'm kinda getting used to her showing up out of nowhere like that.

"Were you here all along?"

"Yup. You had fun?"

Oh no. She must've been furious about the dinner I had with Sid. What am I gonna do. I totally forgot about what she was asking me last night. Urgh, just tell her that Sid needed a friend for the night, just that and tell her 'Yes, I would love to go out with you again like we used to even if I don't know how it's gonna work'.

"I think you did Nick." She said looking as normal as she used to be.

"Uhm.. about that date you're talking about, Jane."

"Well you did great. I was watching there the whole time and Sid looks happy to be with you." I swear she looks so proud like a mom whose son kicked the penalty goal perfectly.

"Wait. What did you just say?" I said as I step at the break. "Pano napasok sa usapan si Sid?"

"I was thinking lately. You need someone who could help you to forget."

"But you said you are the one who's gonna help me do that."

"I know I said that but I just thought it would be harder for you if Im gonna be the only one who'll help you when Im the one you'll have to forget."

From the look on her face, I knew she read in mine that I totally don't understand what she's trying to say.

"Nick, what I mean is maybe you should ask Sid out."

I turn to the wheel and step on the gas. All the way to my condo, she kept convincing me on asking Sid out on a date.

"You're insane. Or maybe I am."

"What? Sid is pretty.''

"It's not just that."

"She's cool and kind and fun to be with."

"Oh you know that huh?"

"O' come on. I saw you earlier and you looked so happy together. I've never seen you like that for months."

"You don't understand, Jane. Sid is my bestfriend."

"So what? I was your bestfriend before we realized that we could be more than that."

"Jane?" I mumbled pulling out the keys. "Are you pushing me away?"

"No, Im not."

I stepped out of the car. In the elevator we couldn't talk because there are other people. I wanted to shout at her. Why is she doing this to me? Isn't it obvious that I still have my feelings for her?

The elevator dings and I walk out fast towards my door and slam it shut behind me.

"What's wrong Nick. It's Sid. It's not some stranger and I know you care for her."

"I do care for her. But not the way you want me to."

"Yeah? Like you're so furious two hours ago because you found out her boyfriend cheated on her?"

"I'm sorry to tell you. It's not gonna work."

''Think about it. This may be what you're lacking all this time." Then she disappeared like she's tired of me holding her back all this time.