always, i'll care

chapter thirteen

Clenching his fist onto his truck steering, holding his breath in as he watched the car in front of him trying to reverse out from the parking place. It was a very busy area and he is well aware of this place, it's not his first time here.

But for the first time though; Taeil feels extremely listless and exhausted waiting in line to get the only parking place available. He sighed roughly, pulling back his hair. His thought travels to the sound of Taeyong's breaking and cracking voice.

It's been awhile since he heard Taeyong cry –have Taeyong ever cried at all? When he was dismissed by his parents, the only thing he did was roll his eyes as he cursed. When Taeil broke up with him, he did the same roll eyes back. And when Taeil's parent passed away, the ones he always thought of as his own parents –he didn't cry.

Taeyong built himself as a strong man who has full control over his emotions.

Mickey. The cat he cares dearly about; the cat he treats as his own family. That was Taeyong's last straw, putting down his strong image and letting his emotions take over him. It means it hurts him too much for him to handle and Taeil blames himself for being unable to do anything for Taeyong.

"Are you okay?" Taeil hurriedly sat next to Taeyong as soon as he entered the veterinary clinic. Taeyong jump to Taeil's hold as he cried on his shoulder, trembling and mumbling incoherently. Taeil takes a deep breath, returning the hug; patting Taeyong's back softly.

"I am sorry," That's the only word that Taeil can say.

"I don't know what happened. I didn't do anything, I left Mickey for like hours! Like I don't know why this happens..."

"I am sorry,"

"She was eating and playing well this morning at my place. The staff at pet care house said, she hasn't eaten anything there. In CCTV too. So what –how –"

"I am sorry,"

"M –Mickey..." Taeyong cried out, "What should we do? What did I do?"

"Let's bury Mickey first, mm? She probably cold."

"I hate you," Taeyong tightened his hold on Taeil. Trying to shift the blame on Taeil for always being able to accept him even in his worst. He hated Taeil for treating him so kindly, he hated Taeil for always being able to make him feel safe.

"I am sorry,"

Taeyong bit his lower lips, rough whine left his lips, "I hate you."

"I know,"

Taeil lifted Taeyong up, ignoring the eyes following them with every step. He calmly put Taeyong on his passenger seat at his truck, wiping off the tears as he left a soft pat on Taeyong's head before walking back to the clinic, to get Mickey's dead and cold body.

Taeyong looked out of the window the whole ride back to Taeil's family house. He doesn't live there anymore after his parents passed away and he rarely visited the place. But they need a place, a land to bury Mickey with respect. The cat that had witnessed Taeil and Taeyong's love story.

The doctor said, Mickey probably got a heart attack. There was no other reason, his blood result was healthy. There wasn't any result showing that he was poisoned. It's weird because Mickey is a very healthy cat. They have sent Mickey for a proper check-up. She was a healthy cat!

Taeyong was the one driving Mickey to the pet care house, he had been blaming himself.

It was quiet all day. Taeyong was looking into space at the back garden, sitting next to where they buried Mickey. Taeil sighed as he entered the house he hadn't been into in years, the house was still looking the same but colder now. He couldn't smell home anymore at that place.