Queen Carlisiann (BWBM)

TWELEVE

A M A N T É

"You both seem to have found a common ground." Essam observed, taking a seat in the chair Carlisiann had not too long vacated.

"It seems so." I replied, my focus on the book I had placed on my lap.

"So do you like her?"

My brows journeyed towards each other in confusion when my ears captured his question because it held no context.

"In what way are you referring to?"

"Do you like her as a friend?" He clarified, before narrowing his eyes at me slightly with lifted lips, "Unless you—"

"Don't even say that outloud, you might accidentally curse me." I interjected with a displeased frown to show him his words didn't put me in the greatest of moods, "And no, I do not like her in any way, she's too annoying."

"She sure makes you smile a lot."

"You sure this wasn't the expression you saw on my face? Because I've gotten ten new wrinkles just from seeing this woman." I expressed while trying to massage my nose bridge that felt locked in the frowning position.

"Ah, I see you were frowning." He professed in a manner that told me he didn't believe me, and before I could plead my case again he spoke, "Well, it is good you both are getting close."

"Why is it a good thing?"

"I swear you read everything but the laws." He muttered before proceeding to explain his words, "When you both get married you'll finally be king and your parents won't have power over you, but for that to happen Carlisiann has to decide whether or not you are eligible to be king or have you already forgotten the royal customs?"

Throughout the land, each kingdom has a custom that states the soon-to-be queen of that specific kingdom was to determine if the prince they were marrying is suitable to rule, and this is why arranged marriage was banned in my kingdom because the odds of being fucked over by someone who only saw you as a means to get power was very high, but right now I wasn't worried about Carlisiann saying I wasn't because she needed me and this marriage.

"She will say I'm eligible because she needs my protection."

"Are you forgetting you have cousins she can choose from to replace you? This is why your parents haven't chosen a wedding date, and it's why they want you to spend as much time as possible with her so that she doesn't give your crown to someone else." He declared, drawing awareness to my mind that had me viewing the constant orders of my parents to get to know Calrissian, differently. "So, are you still on a quest to end this arrangement?"

I shook my head to show him I had given up before I even began, because I no longer had a reason for wanting its end as Naila declined my offer to run away together as if I meant nothing to her, as if the years we spent were just an abstract reality I had created in my head to offer myself peace from my constant normality that I could not escape for the life of me.

"No, there is no longer a reason for me to end it."

"You heard about Naila then." He realised, clearly mistaken as I asked with confusion,

"Heard what?"

"She is dating Vince," Essam announced, and I felt my heart stop immediately as his words echoed throughout my mind as I wondered if I had comprehended them correctly.

I knew she told me we had to move on from each other but I never expected her to move on so quickly and especially with him...her 'best friend'.

"Good for her," I replied while doing my best to ignore my breaking heart as I returned my attention to the book in my lap.

"Good for her? This is the love of your life we're talking about."

"She is the love of my life, but these choices she has been making recently have made me realise that I'm not the love of hers." I expressed despite the heavy feeling in my chest that was trying to weigh me down into sadness I knew would have me drowning with no sight of an end.

"So you're going to give up?" He questioned me, voicing his surprise and I nodded in confirmation even though every fiber in my being wanted to fight for her, to fight for our love that she gave up on so easily.

"Yes, we can't have a relationship. I already told Carlisiann that I would be faithful and that she wouldn't have to worry about Naila." I answered, knowing that I couldn't go back on my word, and even if I wanted to it didn't seem like I could since Naila was in a relationship.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

I wasn't sure.

I couldn't be sure, and I would never be sure because when I lost Naila—when she walked out of my life it was as if all the air from out my lungs had gone with her, it was as if all my reasons to continue this tiresome life had gone with her.

That woman had broken me in ways I had never thought I could be broken, and the crazy part of all this is that I still wanted her. I still wanted to be with her, even if it killed what was left of my heart.

"I think I'm going to retire to my room. It is getting far too late." I told him while forcing a yawn.

"What genre of books should I bring? Romance to restore your faith in love? Or a thriller to shift your mind's focus off your current issue."

"I said I'm going to sleep."

"We both know you aren't." He stated, letting me know my attempt at faking a yawn wasn't fooling anyone.

"Romance." I replied before moving out my chair to begin a trip out of the room.

"As expected of a virgin." He remarked, and I ignored his statement.

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