Eye For An Eye

Six

Jazeel.
Serendipity: Finding someone precious without looking for it.

The older you get the more quiet you become, life humbles you so deeply as you age, you realize how much nonsense you've wasted time on. You start to accept things for what they really are, you stop forcing relationships and connections with people and you just learn to grow and yes it's true—the older you get the more you stop caring about others opinions of you, it's a freeing feeling.

I learned that the key to surviving the day is not positivity, it's acceptance. Accepting that not all days are good and happy, you will have bad days, you will make mistakes, you will fail, you will mess up, everythings not going to fall into place and that's okay.

I'll admit that I've done a lot of things I regret, things that I felt made me look better but was ultimately immature and unnecessary.

Being the only boy in the midst of girls, it came with a perk which I personally misused. I felt like I had all the answers other men looked for. When people say 'women are complicated' I felt back then that I was the objection, like I knew them more than anyone and to an extent I did and that was the reality.

You're probably wondering what I'm yapping about.
But I took dating and dumping women like it was something to be proud of. Took any girl that declined me as a challenge and never gave up until I've gotten what I wanted.

But when the same thing happened to my sister, causing her depression and at length the loss of her life, it made me realize how terrible, inhuman and grotesque I was as a human being.

And for 7years I haven't been in a relationship. I haven't even thought of approaching a woman, at least not romantically—not until I met her.

I don't want to say something as cliche as it was 'love at first sight' but if it's not that then there's no other way to explain it. I was mesmerized.
Somehow, with her it came so naturally. I just know I want to spend the rest of my life with her by my side, I wouldn't want anyone else.

And normally I wouldn't care whether my mother objects to it but my sisters weren't so happy about me canceling my engagement with Afrah which means they wouldn't be so excited about Ersana or worse, they wouldn't like her. My sisters have always supported me even during the war with our mother so I want them to like her and I'm afraid it would come to a point where they ask me to choose.

And honestly, I can't—I don't want to and I won't ever let it reach that point so if I need help to do it then I'm definitely taking it.

Thankfully, I have Amaya. She's always had this positive feelings, opinions, ideas and thoughts which I liked about her but since we've started talking again I realized there's more to her, she's caring, smart and magnanimous too, let's just say she has a great persona and I'm glad Sana has a friend like her.

Anyway, we're having the dinner tomorrow night and hopefully Aisha likes her. She's the one who wasn't really into my marriage with Afrah—she believes people should marry someone they love which I obviously wasn't so I know she's the only one that can help. It's not going to be easy because Afrah is our cousin and they're all really close to her but she understands. The man she married is thrice her age and despite what people say, she actually does love him.

"Thinking hard, are we?" Hayaan asks walking into my office like it was his living room.
He sits on the couch, resting his feet on my coffee table.

"Get your nasty feet off my table"
He groans resting his head back and staring at the ceiling "When I'm at work all I want to do is go home and when I'm home all I want to do is be here—life really isn't fair to people like us"