A Champion of Light and Lions (Cersei Lannister x OC)

8 - Playing With Fire...

"It's horrible", Cersei shouted, pouring herself a glass of wine so aggressively that some of the liquid sloshed out onto her hand. She shook it off angrily. "How can he force me to do it again? He knows how bad Robert was."

Tywin had confronted Cersei and her brother with a decision neither of them was happy about in the slightest. After discovering a plot of the Tyrells to marry Sansa to Loras, he had taken swift action and arranged for two different betrothals: Sansa was to marry Tyrion instead, and Loras... would be Cersei's new husband.

"Who does he think he is?", Cersei raged on, then chuckled mirthlessly, looking up at the ceiling, or perhaps the sky above it, as if comparing her father to a god of sorts. "Why do I even ask? He's Tywin Lannister, and he always gets what he wants, no matter if it hurts his family in the process - especially then, it seems to me."

"So what will you do?", I asked.

She shrugged. "Is there anything I can do? My father said it is to be done, and that will likely be the end of it, no matter how often I say 'I won't'."

I sat down next to her, placing my hand onto her trembling one. "You're the mother of the king. No matter how intimidating Tywin may be, he can't actually tell you to do shit."

"He's my father", Cersei objected. "That automatically gives him the power to make me do whatever he wants, as fucked up as that is."

"The question is still if you let him, though", I said, an encouraging smile tugging at one corner of my mouth. "Power by title is one thing, but true power takes two, the actor and the obedient subject. Will you let him have power over you for all your life, or will you take it from him and decide for yourself?"

She stared at me for a moment, pondering my words. "How can I do that?", she asked slowly, quietly, as if it had never occurred to her. "I am his daughter. If Jaime tried to rebel, oh, sure, he'd stand a chance, even Tyrion" - she spat the name - "might get away with it, but me? I'm a woman." Her voice was full of scorn for the twisted rules of the world. "No one would be on my side. I'd be nothing but the disobedient brat who failed her duty to her family." She shook her head. "It's hopeless."

"Here's one person who would back you up", I replied, pointing to myself, "but I don't need to tell you that. What's important is that you stand behind your own cause." I guided her hand to her heart. "You talk about yourself being a woman as if it's a bad thing. If you believe that, you'll never get free of that feeling of inferiority. But you of all people should know that womanhood is not equal to weakness, or anything of the sort. You are Azor Ahai, the Princess Who Was Promised, the savior of the world, who will drive back the darkness and lead all of humanity to victory. Do you believe this living legend, this hero, is inferior to anyone?" I shook my head. "No. Tywin Lannister has nothing on you. And if you don't want to marry Loras Tyrell, then you damn well tell him you won't, and that will be the end of it."

Slowly, Cersei nodded, gaining courage as my speech sunk in. "You're right", she finally said. "He can drag me into the sept by my hair if it so pleases him, but he cannot force me to say the vows. He can choke on his betrothal plans."

I smiled at her, proud of her newfound self-worth. Then another, errant thought crossed my mind. "I do wonder, though - did you never want to marry again? After Robert, I mean?"

Her eyes left my face, flitting across the room nervously. "I don't know", she said with a shrug too tense to appear casual, "I hadn't given it any thought. But I don't want Loras. They say he's not... inclined in that direction, anyway."

Why did the question make her so uncomfortable? "I know", I pressed on, "but still - did you plan to stay alone forever?"

"I'm not alone", she disagreed. "I've got my children, and Jaime, once he returns, and... and you." Her gaze returned to mine, and I was taken aback by the fear in it. Whatever might she be scared of?