Haseki Mihrişah Sultan

Topkapi Palace

Now we are still walking. I am so tired!
The men who used to own us left in a different direction from the one that we came from. We are following this weirdly dressed man now. He has fancy clothes and has a few men around, which maybe are guards, because they have daggers in their belts. They seem nicer than the previous ones, and that's good. But where are they taking us?
A woman the age of my mother just fainted. A merchant nearby washed her face with water. I helped him lift her up.
Our new owner said something to the merchant, and this last one paid two bags with coins for the woman. Then he pointed at me, too.
I am confused. I don't want to be sold. Although my present owner seems rich and the guy who wants to buy me seems nice, I don't want to be sold. I don't want people to fight over me. I want to decide for myself, but I can't.
- No! - I said, making the two men stop arguing.
- No? - the merchant asked me, and I was kind of surprised that he decided to talk with me.
- I want to decide for myself, - I said slowly in italian, hoping someone there would understand.
The merchant whistled, and quickly, a man came next to him. I believe he asked him what I said. I repeated what I said, and the new man replied:
- You know you are a slave, right?
I felt so stupid. Apparently, the merchant didn't buy me because my present owner wasn't selling me.
We continued walking until we saw more trees ahead of us. Then, out of nowhere, a palace showed up. It was a big palace, I could tell.

Such palace is only seen in European kingdoms, but this wasn't European style. The walls were different. Their colour wasn't something I would see in Paris or maybe Munich, or even Vienna.
Wait!
So if I wasn't in Europe, where was I?
I had been so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't realise that we had stopped. But we weren't the only ones. There were so many girls ahead of me, all lined up in one row. One of the guards of my owner took my from my group and placed me among those girls. I was so confused and so scared. What was going to happen to me? To us? What about the group of people I left? "God, please help me!" I said why turning my hands in a prayer position.
- Hey! - I heard someone scream.
I didn't understand it at first, but then I saw my owner, the man with the weird hat that bought us, coming and lowering my hands. He continued yelling at me, but I couldn't understand a thing.
- Isn't even allowed to pray to God? - I yelled back at him in Italian and everyone turned their gaze at me.
That's it. I was going to be executed maybe, I don't know, but I realized that I didn't do a good thing and I lowered my head ashamed.
- You can pray to God, - a man which I hadn't noticed that far said in the same language while coming closer to me, - God can help you. We are respectful towards those who believe in God. But from now on, things are going to change signora, - he said, and his tone of voice became deeper.
He looked at me in the eye, and I felt scared. I looked away while he whispered something to the man who lowered my hands. I believe this guy was my owner because he apparently ordering the guy who bought me.
How did he know my language? This just makes this city more confusing.
Suddenly, the gates of the entrance that led inside the palace opened, and few women dressed well came out of there. They started checking the girls in front of me. Their clothes, their hands, nails, their mouths. For hygiene, I guess, but where are we going that such a control needs to be done? I've got to stop making questions. Such a headache has begun that, together with the exhaustion I feel from walking so much, will make me pass out. At least I would have a way to rest, unconsciously.
The women grouped the girls who were clean on one side, and among them was I. To be honest so far, the only woman who has checked me was my mother, and that happened dozens of years ago. We waited there for a while, and then the ladies signaled us to follow them, and so we did. The palace inside was HUGE! It was, in fact, irregular, asymmetric, non-axial, and of un-monumental proportions. But it was planned and designed well. Somehow, in every block of buildings we would go, the guards there would turn their back on us. I wonder if it was a protocol with every visitor or only for us, the slaves.
Inside it had a really park-like view. Beautiful, I must say. Then we arrived near another gate, but smaller than the previous one. In our right, there was some kind of a  pavilion designed with marble stones, but it seems that it served as an important part of this palace. Right behind it, in its left, there was a tower, not a tall one, but it seemed like it functioned as part of the building.

 After we entered inside the second gate, the new territory was completely surrounded by walls. The courtyard there was also big, just like a different  world inside the palace.
Am I in Egypt? No, it can't be. There's no desert. Am I in Spain, maybe? No, it would be a longer distance from my country to Spain. Where am I than? Such an organization, all this population, all these guards, all this structure. I am amazed, but also a sense of uneasiness lingers within me. This is my future, but I don't want to forget my past. I don't want to live it all behind. I feel like all this city is making me.
Before my eyes started to be filled with tears, I could not believe my eyes.
At the far end of the courtyard, there was, of course, another gate, and then a corridor leading to another inner courtyard different from the other side of the palace.
This courtyard was filled with girls. They were almost my age, a bit younger, a bit older, but there were so many of them. All dressed beautifully, smiling, looking at us, like this was their entertainment. There were also guards at the door of this courtyard, and they also dressed strangely, but I wasn't surprised anymore by this fact. They lined us again in a row, but this time facing our lefts not our fronts. I could hear girls laughing and giggling in my back and in front of me. They looked like princesses compared to how I looked. Who would need so many girls?
A woman, a pretty one indeed, but dressed well, with some kind of heat on her head, began talking to us while walking. Everyone had stopped what they were doing and began listening. The women who were with us all along left and a few others came dressed the same. The woman who seemed like she was in charge stopped and left us to the fate of those other ladies. We followed them to another smaller corridor that led to another and then another, which had different tiles, whiter ones. Then we stopped in front of a big wooden door guarded by two men who lowered their heads and opened them.
Oh, now I understand, this is a bathroom. But why is it like this? Bathrooms aren't supposed to be like this. They gave us slippers to not fall because the floor was kind of wet. Then they sat some of us and began controlling them. This wasn't like before. They were literally telling them to undress. Many of us refused, but they yelled and forced them. I really didn't want to, but I had no choice. The woman who checked me gave me a towel, but did not  wrap me completely with it and then told me to open my legs. I was so ashamed that I wanted to start crying there right away.
What was happening? I could tolerate the hunger, the thirst, the pain of feet which were literally bleeding, the horrible smell I had, strangers yelling at me, checking me, mocking me, but this? Whoever is my owner now better not get in front of me because I will definitely punch him hard!