I. The Hospital

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I've just started my first day as an intern. I'm really excited about it but also kinda nervous. There's been a lot of pressure on me as the oldest from my family and coming from a South Asian household. My father, Ishaan, came from India to America and met my Mom, Zoya, a woman from an Indian family who'd lived in America for a while. My parents own a local restaurant together, and that has been going strong for years. They got married in 2013 and had me, Tamina, Tammy as a nickname, later on in 2015. Then my younger siblings, Isaac and Phoebe. My Mom didn't want to give us Indian names for fear of being bullied or being even more of a subject to racism.

Growing up in America, specifically LA, was okay. This is a very diverse city and much more open-minded than other cities in the country. So, my parents weren't upset when I came out to them as bisexual in the fourth grade after having the biggest crush on a girl called Ruth.

Ruth still invades my mind every day. We didn't go through the entirety of middle school together because her and her sister were in high school and graduated early, and she went off to university just as I got into high school. I have no clue where she is now, but I find that sometimes, I still miss her. We barely ever talked back in school, but she was always the highlight of my day.

I fell for her smile first. It was so jovial and bright. And I loved her blue eyes that were always so focused. She let me do her hair on some days of the week. Some of my friends who did martial arts with her told her about my hair skills, and she asked me to hers for her. Her blonde hair was so soft and luscious, and it smelled amazing, too. She and her sister had always smelled good, though. That was one of the things they were known for. That and being ridiculously talented. Which, now that I think about it, is kind of a weird thing to be popular for... Smelling nice.

"Doctor Bedi. Can you please present?" the chief resident said.

"Uh, sure." I nod, "Fifty-one year old male..." I won't bore you with all of the science talk. I find that people shut off when I go on my medical rambles, and I would want to put you through that. The bottom line is that this patient has a tumour on his liver and is receiving chemotherapy.

"Thank you, Doctor Bedi." Doctor Francis nodded.

We're still doing rounds by ten a.m. Not to brag, but I think I'm the most competent out of my group. One of them didn't even respond to her own name.

"You are all going to be placed into other services. They go as follows, Doctor Thomas and Doctor Hepburn, you are assigned to Cardio. Docort Kim and Doctor Leigh; Neuro. Doctor Wells, Doctor Wright and Doctor James; general. And Doctor Bedi, paediatrics. Are we all clear?" we all nod and collect our tablets, "Off you go."

I take the elevator up to the sixth floor. I have no clue which doctor is supposed to be mentoring me, so I feel like I'll just be wandering about, looking like a helpless puppy.

"Hold the door!" a voice called. I put my hand out and allowed the person to step on the elevator. She went to press a button, but she paused and chuckled, "We're going to the same floor. What a coincidence."

"Mhm." I nod. I look up to her, and my breath hitched. It was-

"Are you one of the interns?" she asked, and I noticed a soft, familiar accent.

"Yes, it's my first day. I'm slightly nervous but also excited. First day jitters, you know?" I ramble as I look away, hoping to calm the ferocious blush in my cheeks.

"Oh, I know. So you were placed on peds?"

"Yes."

"Did you have any particular speciality in mind or...?"

"Not really. However, I've been leaning towards Cardio or General."

"Not peds?" I could hear the pout in her voice.

"Like I said, I don't really know yet."

"I hope I can persuade you." I looked up to her, and she was smirking.

"Oh? Are you my Attending?"

"Well, I'm head of peds, and to be honest, pretty much the only peds doctor here. Not many of my colleagues like dealing with kids."

"I see. Well, here's your chance, I guess." I shrug.

"I'll make it a good first day for you." she winked, and my heart did a thing. It's like it floated for a little bit.

The elevator door opened, and she stepped out. My heart calmed down as I stepped out to follow.

"Doctor Bedi, is it?" Ruth asked.

"Yes." I nod.

"I went to school with a Bedi. She used to do my hair for me." she said thoughtfully.

Was this her way of telling me that she remembers me?

"That was me." I say.

"Tammy?" she gasped, "You've changed so much! How've you been?"

"I've been good. Just tryna start my life."

"That's good! I'm happy for you... Wow, I can't believe I didn't recognise you."

"I recognised you."

"Did you?"

"Yeah, how could I forget your face?" I laugh a little.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did." she shrugged.

"Your parents always loved how your hair looked. I'd hear them talk in the hallways." I smile fondly at the memory.

This must've been in elementary school. Fourth grade, maybe? I remember walking down the corridor from the bathroom during lunch, and there were two women, one who looked exactly like my crush but older and taller. Wayyyyy taller.

"Have you seen Ruth's hair?" she asked the other woman, a brunette who was shorter by about three inches.

"No, why?"

"Someone's braided her hair for her martial arts class, and she looks so cute and sporty, and it makes me so happy. Whoever did it is like, a God or something. Ruth never let's me touch her hair." the taller woman said.

"She does get quite sensitive about her hair, doesn't she?" The brunette nodded.

"Yeah, I don't blame her, though."

"You let me touch your hair." the brunette pouted.

"Well, yeah. It's you. Why wouldn't I let you touch my hair?"

"I- I have no argument for that."

"I remember my Mama asking about it one time. It was when I was awarded my Red Belt."

"Did you finish your training all the way through?" I wonder.

"I did. Karate, kick boxing, boxing, and Taekwondo. I got Black Belt for all the ones that belts." she smiled proudly, and my stomach flipped.

"That's cool, I'm really proud of you." I say as I place my hand on her arm.

"Thanks!" she beamed. I could tell she really appreciated that, "Let's get to work." she said and walked away with a little bounce in her step.

God, what are you doing to me, Ruth?

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