I woke up the next morning with a thought of her.
The thoughts were something like:
Here, I am with you, and you are with me.
and all the heavens beyond us.
What if this turns out to be a bad dream?
Is it true or an illusion?
but feeling better this time.
a wind that feels like peace
and a smell that feels like heaven.
Is it you or my imaginary world?
Can you please help me to heal?
Your smile makes me feel free.
Please don't break me again.
I am going so far with these questions.
I hope you find me again.
I am killing my feelings day by day, just not to ruin my friendship with her.
We are all having a summer vacation.
Summer break for one month
How would you spend it without her smile?
That's okay; I have to do this, right?
I spent every day without thinking of her. I tried my best to kill every emotion related to her. Yes, this is painful, but I have to do this.
How can I forget you?
I am spreading lies on your way, but you are the truth."
"I want to give you happiness, but you are happier."
"You are my addiction.
For once, just say my name.
I will show you all of my love.
Just break the cages and come to me.
Tell me how you feel.
I am addicted to you.
And begging you on my knees
Say my name.
Feel me, break me, and heal me.
Expectations are trying to fade.
But hope will help me find a way.
You are not mine.
But I am still here, loving you silently.
Is this a war?
Just hug me once, and I will kiss all of your scars.
I am begging you to keep me close to you.
Because I am addicted to you.
On the last day of the summer break, we are going back to our hostel.
Noah and I are happy that we enjoyed the days at home. We talked about our friendship, and I told her everything about Arica and how much I loved her. She gave me the confidence to love her freely without expecting me to get love back from her side.
So I decided to love her as silently as I could.
I hope this love never raises loud voices in front of her.
We came back to the hostel with tired bodies.
We had dinner and went to bed.
