my brother's best friend

chapter xxi

“slow tears”
through elise hampton

it has passed one week since devyn and i last talked.

my days resumed in a constant monotony – i would woke up late, stay in bed until the afternoon and then have dinner very late in the night, preferably when there was nobody awake. my mind was in a void of thoughts at all times, except when my eyes would begin watering and the image of devyn with his head between his hands would appear.

my brother has noticed my behavior, he hasn't said a word to me since. i knew he wasn't guilty, he would see my dark circles and my bitten lips and he would ignore them. i don't think i would ever forgive him for what he did.

it was pretty late in the morning, i was laying in bed with a light cover over me. my eyes were focused on the window besides me. i was rotting in the same linen pajamas i have been wearing the past few days. a strange smell filled my room, on one side, the rich fragrance of my spilled cologne, and the other, the various plates that a accumulated on top of my nightstand. i seemed to be in a vicious trance every hour of the day, fisically my body couldn't bear to stand up for too long, i would like to blame it on the quality and quantity of the food i have been eating but something told me that if i stood up for too long, i could remember his face and collapse once again. if i never tried to stand, i would never fall.

that was my mentality, if i didn't eat, then i wouldn't have the chance to lose my appetite; if i never changed, then my new clothes won't make me remember devyn; if i never thought, then he could never fill my thoughts.

a soft knock played on my door, i glanced at it slightly. devyn? to my unfortune surprise, juliette's face appeared on my view.

her silent footsteps approached me and i took notice of the three other figures that followed behind her. the familiar faces of elsie and catherine relieved me, yet the presence of amelie angered me. i didn't have the strenght to confront her about being on my house after throwing herself at devyn, even though he loved me not her, not her brown hair.

"hi" the gentle words left juliette's lips. she sat besides me, running a hand through my unbrushed hair. my gaze met hers and i understood she knew, she knew that i was deeply and utterly heartbroken.

"you haven't gone working so i was quite worried. i thought you had some sickness" her eyes sparkled in a comforting way.

"this is about devyn, right?" catherine sweetly questioned. i gave them a curt nod, my eyes watering from the mention of his name.

"yes, it is"

"it will be okay elise, we are here for you" elsie's undeniable voice spoke.

"do you want to talk about it?" juliette asked "maybe we can think of something to help you if we know more"

her eyes searched mine.

"yes sure" i sat up, my hair falling into my back, i slowly tied it into a low bun.

"when i first started seeing him, it was because of some type of revenge against my brother" i wiped a hand down my face at a sudden dizziness "he is his bestfriend and i-"

"i wanted to hurt him" my gaze kept stoic on my cover "and after i got back from devyn's, he has his own appartment now" i smiled weakly.

their attentive looks scared me but i pushed further.

"my brother told him, he figured it out i don't know how and he saw me in the club and he ended it all" slow tears ran from my eyes as they rapidly blinked.

"oh elise i'm so sorry, you seemed to really like him" a warm hand caressed my back.

"i love him" a sob escaping through my rosy lips, i kept my eyes on my conjoined hands.

"maybe you could talk to him, i'm sure he will understand" this strange voice made my sobs stop and my eyes to elevate. the pretty face of amelie met my gaze.

i fastenely wiped my eyes, cutting the trail of the recent tears.

"understand? what are you talking about? he cut it off permanently but you probably already know that" i dryly laughed "did you finally got what you wanted?" my eyes wetted. her eyes squinted and she elevated a finger, ready to defend herself.

"what the fuck is she even doing here?" i sobbed in a rushed breath.

"amelie wanted to see if you were okay"

"she wants to know if it is true" my hissing voice was heard. it surprised me "don't you?" i pushed back a restrained breath, my accusing tone making my head spin.

that snake had slid into my room for her selfish reasons, i knew deep down she was here for the show – to see if i would budge at the mention of devyn's name. she never cared about me when she saw how i looked at him, how i envied her ease around him, how his smile was bigger when talking to her.

juliette's brows furrowed.

i was completely possessed by my fury. it was her, she was under this.

"did you plan this alongside christopher?" i wiped my cheeks with the back of my hands, an agressive undertone lefting my mouth.

before amelie could explain herself, juliette intervened.

"elise, we understand you're upset but you're being quite unfair with-"

i blinked repeatedly. god, were they blind?

"you know what? get out. get out all of you" i found strenght to push myself up and point to the door.

"elise-" elsie insisted.

"get out" a river of tears made its way down my cheeks "you will never understand how it is to lose him. never"

the last sight i saw was catherine's disappointed look.

"you always do this, we can't keep forgetting it"

and just like that, the door shut close and the sound of calm footsteps made its way down the stairs.