my brother's best friend

chapter xxiii

“boy toy”
through elise hampton

i was pretty stunned about nicholas' proposal.

"i will call you later" my hoarse voice spoke. my gaze fell on his lap before elevating to meet his eyes.

"you have to take care of that"

he gave me a smirk.

"you can do it for me" he shouted as i pushed the car door open. gently, i stretched the fabric that shrinked at the movement.

"you wish" i genuinely laughed.

nicholas wasn't that bad. he is hypersexual for sure, but at least he wouldn't leave me, i believe.

i walked over to the door, dreading the infamous ring of the bell. i was anxious of all the looks that i would receive.

i heard nicholas' car speeding off, before a shaky sigh ran through my rosy lips.

pushing the door, the costumers' eyes settled on me. i took out my big black glasses, my legs sharply standing against the floor. slowly, i strood through the open space. my heels clincked on the tiles, its black and white checkered pattern familiar to the eye.

my eyes connected with green eyed ones. i kept my posture as i passed through the little tables.

my hands formed into fists as i passed through her. i could feel her glare on my recently straightened hair, as a reaction to my nonchalant behavior. i wasn't ignoring her, i was simply waiting for her to look for me. deep down i knew that's what she would do.

my hands guarded my glasses into the small bag i carried. very soon, i sat down at one of the tables next to the window, the one me and devyn sat once. my manicured finger traced the pattern of the wood, the glint of the gel shining.

juliette's familiar clear of throat caused my gaze to look up, an instant yet small smile adorning my lips.

i could feel the hurt on her gaze, even though she tried to hide it.

"good morning, what would it be?" my clear eyes shifted towards the block of paper that she held. i switched positions, pushing myself closer to her.

the heel of my truly high shoes scratched my skin to relieve some stress.

"i would like to have a conversation with you, if you may"

she looked away before sitting on the opposite chair. her hair fell on top of the table, its braided appearance catching my attention.

"i like the braid, it suits you" her furrowed brows warned me.

"i am sorry for what i have done. i acted imature despite your patience, i was deeply hurt about–" i stopped mid-phrase "about me and devyn and i directed it towards all of you. you definitely noticed i am not one to keep relationships but i will try harder this time. please forgive me, juliette. i understand that sometimes i am the worst person to everyone, especially to the ones that show me some type of love that will last, that i can't run away from. i promise i will try"

she looked down, her nail nervously stratching the skin of her other hand. my fingers brushed a lock of blond hair behind my ear, my shiny gold earrings becoming seen. she kept silent before slowly standing up.

"what you did was awful elise. i-" she stopped her wording, a heart-wreacking furrow of brows met my gaze. the once serious green of hers watered. "i have been through really bad things and i am still fragile to help you. i can't possibly forgive you"

i watched as her figure walked away. like devyn did, and my brother and my mother. i was left behind at all different scenarios. i would like to wonder why but i knew, didn't i? i hurt them, i hurt people who were already hurt, who only asked for one thing and i still disappointed them, people, who like devyn, didn't deserve it.

oh god, am i destined to a life of pain? for the few years i have lived i have never experienced a long period of happiness. was that the reason i am such a bad person?

i destroyed every person's life. everyone that ever cared about me.

my breath became ragged yet i controlled it rapidly, discretly wetting one of the napkins with my tears. i gently grabbed my phone, hoping to make some distance between the memories that flood in.

after some moments, a sweet voice spoke.

"hi, elise. have you ordered yet?"

my gaze elevated and it contacted with a very embarassed one. amelie's normal confident posture was off, revealing a sheepish woman.

"as a matter of fact, no" i put the phone down. our eyes met and she quietly said "what would you like on this beautiful evening?"

her voice remained cheerful despite her tries and i tightened my jaw in response.

"why are you sympathetic after all i have done to you?" my gaze searched hers and i took notice of the understanding look that played on her rosy face. mine in contrast lacked of color, therefore the imense amount of blush i had put on this morning.

"you are not a bad person"

i interrupted her before more pitiful lies could leave her mouth "i am. i am capable of aknowldging thar. because of me, everybody is hurting and ju-"

her soft hand elevated, shutting me down.

"you were right. when i visited you, i didn't have the purest intentions" my head slightly fell to the side.

"i don't understand" i did, i have been playing that memory over and over on my head for the past days.

"as you may know, devyn's family owns a charity organization whose sole purpose is to help children and teenagers to evolve into a better life" she ran a hand down her hair "i was one of those children and since a young age, i had this silly crush on devyn hawthorne which i had seen once" she licked her lips rapidly.

"when you started working here and he was like this boy toy on your finger, i was quite jealous to be honest. so i started chatting with him, inicially about my life after the help i have been given, how i was finally studying on university, and we got along very well"

i gulped down, my heart suddenly racing.

"i wanted to believe he liked me, yet he basically only talked about you, his family, christopher and well, school" she pursed her lips.

"i went to your house because i still had hope he would see me. that you would act nonchalant about him, since you dated so many men, and that i would be his comfort. i guess i understood that i was his but he wasn't mine. he was yours and you were his"

she gave me a small smile, holding herself as a way of protection. tears pricked on the rim of my mascara filled lashes and, slowly, i retained the information.

"he never liked you?" my chest fell and elevated in a concerning pace.

"no" she glanced at the table surface in defeat.

"so he was just laughing and smiling with you, while the girl he supposedly loved was waiting for him" i blinked continuously, my all of a sudden teary blue eyes holding it together.

grabbing my ralph lauren bag, i stood up. the cold as ice words that left through my rosy lips surprised her –

"tell him he is invited to my wedding"