my brother's best friend

chapter xix

“how did i discover?”
through elise hampton

my keys clincked inside of my purse, as i grabbed it rapidly.

i had just parked outside of my house, after spending the night at devyn's appartment. a familiar warmness spread across my cheeks once the things we did last night rushed through my mind.

i was finally happy. i loved devyn, he loved me, i had quit drinking and anotating orders has become a bearable activity.

lifting my gaze, a ray of sunshine lightened my clear blue pupil. i don't think i have ever felt this free before, i don't feel the void i once felt.

the door knob opened and i walked happily towards my room. as my feet collided with the first step of the stairs, i heard footsteps sinking in front of me.

my eyes glanced up and, to my despair, christopher's figure connected with my gaze. what does that moron want?

i gave him a very transparent look of my current thoughts.

"i know what you have been up to, elise"

i stopped dead in my movements. he knows?

"oh what have i done now?" i crossed my arms nonchalantly, letting my weight fall into the handrail of the stairs.

"you disgust me" his gaze criticized me and i took notice of the fists that formed in his hands.

"how dare you sleep with devyn?" he walked towards me, a finger pointing at me.

"what are you talking about?"

i stepped back.

yet i knew he wouldn't budge, he was sure of me and devyn.

silence took over his furious expression.

"how did you discover?" my quiet voice spoke, as i hugged myself. i couldn't bear to look at his eyes, i physically couldn't do it.

"how did i discover?" his cold chuckle found his way towards me "at first, i honestly thought you were becoming friends, despite my efforts for you to not get involved, but then i questioned myself about what you would be doing all alone" his face gave away his mixed feelings. anger and disgust. nothing more.

"i understood that picking you up in the middle of the night and from your job wasn't normal. and the final drop was seeing you on the lake"

"you saw us?"

"you're such a whore" his firm tone angered me.

"i am not!" tears pricked on the corners of my eyes.

"yes you are and the only one capable of tricking my bestfriend into liking you" his chest bumped up and down, his face centimeters away from mine. my own contorced in shame, my mouth in a strict line covered in salty tears, trapping my sobs.

"i didn't trick him" i affirmed, my head weakly motioning in denial.

"of course you didn't, sweet elise could never. you seem to always be the victim – oh poor me i have to get a job, oh i have to wear the dress mother chose for me, oh-" his words were put to a stop by my hand, that sharply slapped his face.

"you don't have the right to talk to me like this" a sob left through my lips.

"you little bitch" he grabbed his face, cursing. the red mark started to appear on his cheek.

"i will make sure to tell devyn about this slap when i tell him the whole story"

he laughed coldly.

"what story?"

"the story of how you slept with him just to make me mad or do you think i don't know you?"

"you wouldn't dare"

"oh believe me i would"

my breath quickened in response.

"christopher, i like him, even though that was in fact my inicial motive"

i was begging him, begging him for his silence. because in all truth i think i was liking devyn but i was certain i could never lose him. i wouldn't make it, not again.

i was a bad person, i knew that. i was using devyn to hurt my brother. yet i was acting out of my own selfishness to keep him in the dark, so that i wouldn't receive the consequences of my actions.

"please, don't do this to me" i cried.

"there it goes again. me, me, me. everything is always about you. what about devyn? what about me for that matter?"

i was silenced by his words.

"you're selfish and you will pay for what you do to others"

his threatening words stinged my chest.

i rapidly stepped away from him, making my way with loud thuds towards my bedroom.

"he will come look for you, don't stay home for the night" his shout met my ears.

fucking christopher.

closing the door, i helplessly fell to the ground. i was ruined once again.

all the progress i did would backfire because of my inicial intentions. how could i be so stupid?

of course devyn and i couldn't keep a relationship, the world seemed to be against me on this one. everytime i was happy, for these past two months, it was all an illusion.

soft cries left my bitten lips. devyn, why do i always cry for you?

he will hate me for it, he will hate that i lied to him, that i used him for competitive reasons and especially that he would know it from his bestfriend and not from me, the guilty one.

i ambled slowly towards my vanity. my eyes met their red reflexion, i could feel my heart aching. aching for the want to apolagise, to be held and to be loved again.

only if i could live in the moments we shared, nothing more nothing less.

all because of that miserable piece of a man. how could he do this to me?

my anger grew, my chest rising up and down. my hands forcely fisted, as i tried to contain my annoyment.

just because his life is a boring hell, it doesn't give him the right to ruin mine. just because that whore mia left him and aline has started calling him christopher too, not dad.

when i was deep down with a pen on my fingers and a linen envelope on my lap, i didn't do anything to him. i told him how childish he was, of course, how he made my life umberable to live in while he was busy having fun. it was obvious i would say it, he deserved to feel the guilt. but did i? for the first time in years i feel like my life has taken the right path, i had friends, devyn and i was thinking of getting out of my parents' house for good. i was finally free. yet he had to destroy my happiness because of his own misery.

i was the one miserable for fucking years, i dealt with my dad's friends touching, i dealt with the exclusion made by my mother to never befriend someone whose parents didn't own a second house, i dealt with the lies, with the pain to fit into the model they wanted. so why couldn't i, for the first time, and for the wrong reasons be happy?

i felt my heart beating rapidly on my chest, my breathing ragged. without a second thought, one of my parfume bottles flew through the room. the thunderous sound of it crashing filled my ears, the fragrant liquid spilling into the wooden floor.

my gaze glanced at it, my dear kurkdjian stood on the floor. gently, my head fell into my arms.

why did i have to fell for devyn?