Broken Down Me

The Paradox of Me

I'm a walking paradox,
A puzzle that's impossible to solve.
I say I'm happy, but my heart is heavy,
And my mind is full of sorrow and woe.

I try to love myself, but it's hard to do,
When I see only flaws in what I view.
I'll tell you I'm fine, but the truth is I'm not,
I'm hiding the pain that's in my heart.

I long for connection, but I push it away,
Afraid that I'll be hurt if I let them stay
I give all my love to those who surround me,
I fix their pain, but can't fix what's in me.

I hide my tears behind a painted smile,
I give them comfort, but never reveal my trial.
I don't show my sadness, I won't let it show,
I put on a mask, I act like I'm whole.

I want them to know how I really feel,
But fear of rejection keeps my emotions sealed.
Deep down I'm hurting, deep down I'm raw,
But on the outside, I'm as hard as stone.

I don't know how to break free,
How to let them see the real me.
I want to open up, and tell them the truth,
But it's so hard to let down my guard and be uncouth.

I want to be honest, I want them to know,
The feelings I hide, the secrets I hold.
But I'm so afraid, I'm scared to let them in,
Afraid of rejection, afraid of my sin.

I'm stuck in a place I can't seem to escape,
A prisoner of my own heart, this is my fate.
Do you think I'll ever be free,
Free of my fears, free to just be me?

I yearn to break out of this lonely shell,
And let the world know me, know me well.
I want to be open, to share my heart,
To let others in, and play my part.

But it's hard to break down these walls of stone,
To tear down the barriers I've made my own.
I know I must try, I know I must start,
To break free of my fears, to mend my heart.

Is that the key to my happiness,
Accepting who I am, not what I guess?
Embracing my quirks, my flaws and my strengths,
Unlocking the joy that this freedom brings.

Yes, this is the answer, I see it now,
That I must love me, be my own "wow".
I will not hide myself, not anymore,
I'll love me for who I am, that's the core.