LULLABY - TAEGYU ✔️

thirty-eight: DEMONS

Taehyun jolts up from his bed with eyes wide open and heavily gasping for air. He sits up, putting a hand over his face as he counts to take a deep breath in and out.

He had that dream again. A long, long dream he had kept buried in the back of his mind yet it successfully haunted him back-

The dream where Beomgyu left him.

Taehyun would constantly get dreams about his biological mother and when he does, he'd call up his step mom. It might sound cruel, calling your step mom to tell about your mom, but Taehyun's step mom had been nothing but a sweetheart, willing to take up late night calls just to comfort her son.

He rarely gets dreams about Beomgyu and only nightmares of his mom's death that gave him the fear of darkness he possesses up till now yet today, his dream of Beomgyu comes back.

Taehyun curled his knees up to his chest and buries his face into his knees. He still felt the warmth of Beomgyu's touch lingering on his skin, on his lower part. He feels disgusted, not only because Beomgyu harassed him but also because he yearned for it.

His cheeks turn a faint red as he recalls back what happened earlier at Beomgyu's place. How he wanted the older to stop harassing him yet, another part of him enjoyed it. He missed the warmth from Beomgyu's touch that night but today, he was more of scared by the way Beomgyu handled him.

It was nothing like that night five years ago when the latter held him with love and care, like he was his world.
It pained him. He knew he hurt Beomgyu. He started it first. He left him. It was entirely his fault-
But he had his reasons.

He made a choice. He wouldn't turn back time to change it if he was given a second chance and the same choice. He had to do it even if it means letting Beomgyu escape from his arms.

And he thought five years apart would help him move on and get over the older. He thought five years was more than enough to help him battle his demons.
But he failed.
He failed miserably.

Five years later and Taehyun still finds himself with the same fear of the dark. 23 years old and he still needs a night light. 23 years old and he still hides under his blanket during a thunder storm until the day rises.

Five years later and he's still helplessly in love with the boy who have him his everything, the boy who was his first everything.

The boy he broke his heart.

"Maybe I should take a day off tomorrow." Taehyun mumbles to himself as he tucks himself back to sleep.
He bets Beomgyu wouldn't want to see him too.

+×+

With what seemed like hours passed, soon turned into days and Taehyun hadn't showed up in the office for almost a week.

Everyone was wondering why, even when Taehyun's only started, he's surely not the type to come into the office late, he's very punctual even.

Soeun too, tried to reach out to him by constantly calling only to be declined.
Taehyun needed time, although it's really unprofessional of him to skip work as he likes.

But it wasn't just Taehyun battling his inner demons at the moment, Beomgyu was too.
Ever since the incident with Taehyun that night, his mood had gotten worse. He wouldn't call it a mood. He was just emotionally messed up.

He didn't know what he was feeling, it was unexplainable. He numbed himself to the core by fucking the life out of his partner that night, the next day with a new person and the day after tomorrow, a new one.
He needed to feel numb.

He didn't want to think about the reason, he didn't want to think he's messed up like this because of Taehyun but honestly...

What other reasons could he have?

Beomgyu's thoughts are interrupted when he hears a knock on his door and when the door opens, his eyes widen, revealing Taehyun peeking through the gap before entering.

After almost a week of not coming into the office, Taehyun finally shows up and places a few files in Beomgyu's desk.

"I'm sorry for not coming into the office. But I completed the work you gave." Taehyun says while bowing.
Beomgyu glares up at the younger and Taehyun flinches from the cold stare he's receiving.

Beomgyu thought he finally got rid of him. He thought Taehyun couldn't take it and that's why he didn't come to the office.

He didn't expect Taehyun to finish his work.

"Get out." Beomgyu mumbles.
"Pardon?" Taehyun asks, unclear and obviously scared.

"I say... get out!!" Beomgyu says while slamming his hands on the table with his voice raised in anger, shocking the younger.

But Taehyun doesn't budge.