The Observations of Patrick Kraker.

Chapter 9

Look, sorry about bursting your bubble, but it's just that your fantastical conclusions were so fantastical and just downright adorable, I had to do it.
- Andrew.

I blinked at the paper. He'd sent me two notes. I swear I'm not blushing. No.

Since I had spent all of yesterday repeatedly dunking myself in self-pity, I hadn't really bothered to...you know, reply.
I put the final note into the crack and took my place across the road.

Homel-Andrew came strolling in slightly earlier than he normally would and he snatched my note up as soon as he saw it. His eyes skimmed across the paper.

You butchered and murdered all my theories, except one. The one about you. It's now obvious that you are not actually homeless, even I can't miss that. But why would you do something like this? What is your motive? Don't think I've forgotten about that dark alleyway...
- Patrick.
***
I told you about my karate chop. You'll probably be risking your life if you try something with me. Now, to finally satisfy your curiosity: what is kindness?
- Andrew.
***
How is giving me an annoyingly abstract question supposed to give me some piece? Is it really that difficult to answer one, bloody simple question? Now, to humour you so hopefully you humour me:
According to Google, it's:
1. The quality of being friendly, generous and considerate.
2. A kind act: It is a kindness that I shall never forget.
3. Me giving you Mars bars.
Since it took a whole five seconds of my life to google it, I'm going to ask you an annoyingly abstract question as well (that you will probably kinda have to watch a couple of chick flicks for) what is love?
P.S I'll give you another bar if you're nice to me!
- Patrick
***
As Google said, kindness is generosity, just being nice in general. But is it dictated by who you are? A poor man? A rich man? Or what you are? A human being, a person. Why is it acceptable for a wealthy man to give a poor man money but not for the poor man to give the rich man money? Aren't we all people? Isn't it just one person helping another? Or being kind? So this, this is sort of to prove my point. I'm not trying to seem like a nice or caring. It's a matter of pride.
And to answer your other, unnecessarily deep question, I believe love cannot be defined. I feel like it's definition varies from person to person. I believe that love is a smile. A laugh. It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, or what you do. If you can make someone laugh and smile, that's love.
- Andrew.
***
At 8 a.m, I was panting like Darth Vader breathes, desperately trying to suck some air into my system, after running all the way to the laundromat's to drop off a mutilated, melting Mars bar and read the note that I had been waiting for so long for.

I dropped down, onto my knees, to pick up the note when Andrew came strolling round the corner. This time, I didn't have my paint on, so I didn't look like a dancer from a Lady Gaga music video, nevertheless, I saw recognition flash through his eyes.

"So, what's your name?"

"Patrick."

"Hi Patrick. I'm Andrew."

"Hello. Yeah. Hi. Hey."

I think my socialawkwardititis is getting worse.

"So, where are the sparkles and paint?"

"I decided the whole Edward Cullen look wasn't working out for me."

He laughed, somewhere in between snorting and a horse coughing. What happened to all the hot love interests' deep melodious laughter that make s you think of melting chocolate and sunshine in all those romance books that Polly reads, mind you?

Trust me, Andrew might have been pretty, but his laughter certainly wasn't.

"So, stalking any new people lately?"

"Pshh. No. What? Stalking people? No way. "

He nodded slowly.

"Sure."

"So meet any other fake homeless guys lately?"

"Nope. Only you."

Cue awkward silence.

Cue my horribly placed ice-breaker.

"So, Mars bar?"

A/N: All feedback will be greatly appreciated! This is the edited version of the chapter, and feel free to tell me if you liked the older version better. Don't forget to vote and comment! I've got a bit of extra material from the older version, that I'd like to add in in a later chapter, but give your opinion in the comments.