KISS AND KILL

LOVE LIKE HELL❤️

I was making my way through the extravagant party thrown by the Leister group.Damn it !I didn't want to be here at all. Until this moment,I have been repeating the same to my mom and stepdad again and again.My mom said,
"Noah darling,Please don't make a fuss.We are here as a family.Never let the media know about what happened between you and him.Just do it for me,if not for yourself"
Here she goes again, playing the caring but strict mom card which she always does.I am done with her,with me,with everything.I shook my head and sighed.I left her with William (my stepdad) who was busy with the people at the party.
I sat in a cushion and took a deep breath.Its ridiculous how after all these months of regular councelling and self motivation that I feel like hell.Every mention of his name, every memory of his beautiful face, humiliates me.

It is as if even though he is not here,he is everywhere.I can see him every where around.I find his captivating blue eyes in his dad.His fascinating scent still lingers around me.His intense look as if he would kiss me to death and kiss me even afterwards doesn't fail to make me blush.Sometimes when I turn all red out of the blue,I wouldn't even let my mom know about how much I miss him in my arms,his soothing voice,his pasionate love.
"NOAH!! ".That high pitch and pleasant cry belongs to no one other than my best friend Jenna.She ran towards me and hugged me tightly.Lion,her boyfriend, also bear hugged me.Eventhough it was dimlight,still I could see how good they both looked as a couple.I felt a pang in my heart.

The already dug deep pit in my heart started throbbing with immense pain and regret.F*ck me!F*ck him!I felt myself shivering despite the alcohol that I have already consumed to prepare myself to meet the most tragic moment in my life that would arrive soon.
"whoa Noah.Why the hell are you crying in the middle of a crazy party like this.You already look like a zombie out of some den "Jenna said with a pinch in my tummy
"Yeah,a zombie with full makeup on and a cocktail dress.Nice imagination , Jenna".I sarcastically pointed out with a bit irritation.I know better than anyone that I look like a mad woman straight from asylum.It has been months since I properly slept without a nightmare,since I smiled like I used to smile before.
Then something in Jenna's face changed and she touched my face and said,"If you don't want to be here,I will tell Raffaella that you threw up or something.I will help you"
Sometimes I can't properly explain how grateful I feel when Jenna tells things like that.It is amazing to have someone care about you,someone to make sure that you are alright.I hugged her and left her with Lion.

The party is going to enter to its main part and I feel it in my gut that he is coming.I need to be ready.I should not be a cry baby.I told myself.I made a mistake, period.But I had some misconceptions and he couldn't clear them.I told him a thousand times that I remember obviously nothing about that night,but he wouldn't care.He would neither forgive nor forget.I did the best I could.I reminded myself.After all,maybe I was at fault,but he was too,it was our fault and he did nothing to change that.So let it be.If it meant only that much to him,why do I need to care?As I heard the media moving towards the car that parked just infront of the building ,I wiped my damn tears out with a tissue and prepared myself to meet the ' twisted love of my life'.