KISS AND KILL

THE INCURABLE PAIN 🥺

I didn't turn around because my soul got struck in the middle of time.A thousand painful memories flooded my mind.Nick calling me freckles and kissing me on the tatoo ,that he believed,adorned my neck.Him hugging me tightly and telling me that he wishes never to let go of me.Me lying down next to his warm body when he tells me that I am the best thing that has ever happened to him.Then suddenly,I saw him, standing in the rain,his eyes full of regret ,hatred and sorrow,telling me that we are over.Him shutting his apartment door hardly on my face.Him caressing the small of the back of Sophia while pressing his lips tightly on hers.Sophia looking into his eyes like they were soulmates,connected by a mystic link of nature, not supposed to separate from each other,ever.I pushed the heavy memories back and focused on what was before me.

Maybe it was because I didn't turn back that he decided to confront me directly.When I finally opened my eyes,I saw him, standing infront me.I could barely see the Nick who was in love with me.The boy who gave me his heart wholeheartedly and one day, completely disappeared from my life, leaving me stranded on the stony path of regret and humiliation and endless ache in the heart.I met his eyes and I could no longer see the boy who used to spend time with me.He was barely recognisable.Its funny how people change so fast.I expected to see a frown on his face,but there was nothing.He seemed indifferent to my presence except the swallowing motion of tension in his throat.

"Noah,I thought we were clear about our agreement.If you don't remember,since you seem to forget things fast ,let me remind you.You shouldn't be where I am."
I couldn't open my mouth .My body was refusing to react but I was done with him.My therapist's words came into my mind.
Never let your happiness be at the mercy of a man.Do what your heart wishes you to do.And I did
"Nick,I am not in the mood for a fight and for the record,I am not here for you.I am here as a family because my Mom wants me to be here.My best friends are here.Its a fun night and we are partying.And if I remember it right,I am not the one who has disobeyed the agreement.I was the one to come here first so you are the one who is not supposed to be here.So please,let me be."

I was trying so hard to let my drunken mind make out words and everything came sloppy.I would appreciate if he understood anything at all .So I tried to make my stand clear through my body language and expression.When I realised that he wasn't saying anything back,I started making my way towards Jenna.My legs kept on shaking uncontrollably and my eyes were blurring.
But I couldn't stop thinking about what Nick said to me.Shit!My life is a bloody shit.And what's more shitty is that I am the one who really messed up everything.Fuck the therapy!I need another drink to calm myself.Just as I was grabbing the tequila from a passing by person carrying a tray of drinks, somebody accidentally pushed me from the back.I lost my control and my tequila dropped from my hand.

I watched in horror as it fell on the last person I expected it to fall on.Sophia.I wouldn't beg for her forgiveness in a million lifetimes.But I saw how badly I had ruined her magnificent dress ,maybe designed for this day alone.Maybe people expected me to pass on tissues or atleast apologise,but unfortunately,I was not in the mood.I stared at her for a while and then sat there silently as people, including my mom started making a fuss and cleaning her dress.She was shouting politely"It is fine.I am okay.No worries "
I sat there, watching the whole drama,but Nick was out of sight.I kept wondering if Sophia was thinking where her boyfriend was when his ex ruined her dress.
"In the process of forgetting Nick,don't forget yourself,Noah".My therapist's words echoed in my heart .The moment I realised what a stupid bitch I was being,I rushed towards Sophia.
"I am really sorry,Sophia.I didn't mean to do that.It was accidental.Forgive me and let me know if I can help you in any way".

It looked like she didn't expect me to do such a thing.She stared at me for a while,and then in a harsh tone replied"Whatever Noah,but everyone here knows the truth.We know you still love Nick.But he doesn't love you.In fact,he hates you.More than he hates his mom.Last day when his little sister asked him where Noah was,he replied that he doesn't know any person with such a name.So girl,you are gone from his heart.Your pathetic moves are not going to help you get him back.Maybe you should have thought about this before sleeping with another man and enjoying that right under your ever loyal boyfriend's nose.If you ask me I don't see a difference between you and a....."
I couldn't hear anymore.Something was buzzing in my head drowning other voices.My vision was blurring,no it was turning black.Darkness was swallowing me like a big whale.But there was one thing I couldn't shield my eyes from,Nick.He appeared on my eyelids, staring at me with the brilliance of a thousand splendid suns and kissing me hard.I muttered his name slowly like it meant salvation to me.It was the last thing I did before everything blacked out and I fell into a deep pit of darkness.