Much Ado About Britpop

16 May 1993 - Notting Hill, London, England

The first two days of this farce, Damon was riding high. Instead of watching him pack his boxes to move into Jamie Hewlett's flat, Justine is constantly questioning him on "how much are you two actually pretending?" ("110 per cercent," he replies, knowing that what can be perceived an overstatement will drive Justine mad), "why in God's name you would do something so corporate and false" ("so I don't have to worry about money and chart numbers for a summer," he said. "Plus I get to use whatever's left from my time in drama school"), "Are you two going to be touching each other up in public" ("I assume I'll have to kiss her a bit," Damon said with a smirk), and several other questions he chose to give the most grating answers possible.

So why is it on his last full day at their flat, he comes home from a recording session to find Justine and Tinsley having a giggle session over a pile of mail on the living room floor?

"Guess who's been invited to the VMAs," Tinsley crows. "Technically you're my plus one. But hey, I had to be Corey's plus one at the Oscars, and I think I may be invited to present an award this year, so it's all a matter of paying your dues."

"We might have a g-"

"You have one the next day in Glasgow, but a red eye can take care of that," Justine interrupted.

"Besides, Christian's hosting, so I have to be there to pose with him and whatever model he brings as his date, and I'm not doing that on my own," Tinsley said. "I swear, he only dates girls with two-fifths of a brain cell."

"...Well, there's more mail than that here," Damon said. "What else is there? I suppose they'll want me as 'plus one' at some other prestigious event. The opening of a Planet Hollywood in Cleveland, perhaps?"

"Washington D.C., actually," Justine said. "You might get to meet Arnold Schwarzenegger! Make sure to ask him for my money back from the time we wanted to get out of the rain and ended up seeing The Last Action Hero."

"Knowing this animal, I doubt you two actually watched it," Tinsley said, and then laughed cavalierly.

Somehow this rubbed Damon the wrong way, more so than Justine bringing up that day in the first place. Those were happier times he didn't want to think about, but for some reason it upset him that Tinsley didn't seem at all interested or bothered by the idea of those happier times.

Not that he wanted her to actually be jealous, of course. She could have at least acted a bit jealous, though, considering everything they were trying to build up here.

"There's a Planet Hollywood opening in Cancún, too," Tinsley said. "Good excuse for a vacation. And you would not believe the women out there. Wow! If we have to kiss Schwarzy's ass, I'd rather do it south of the border."

"So what," Damon asked Justine. "Now that we broke up, you want to be my secretary?"

"No," Tinsley answered. "I just came here because the vultures are swarming outside Blakes like crazy, and I figured you needed a day off. Don't be a twat."

"I'm sorry, did we just break up," Damon asked. "I'm trying to figure out how you thought that question was directed at you."

"Are you going to get like this every time you see the two of us together, because then you can rent a van and move out tonight," Justine said.

"And what, Tinsley'll move in?"

"Just for that, you don't get any weed brownies either," Tinsley said.

"Alright, alright, mercy," Damon said, raising his hands. He knew when he had gone too far and when the room had turned on him. "I'm sorry."

"He needs a weed brownie," Justine said. "He's always awful after a Sunday recording session. He can't handle working on a day of rest."