[RPF - But Not At All Real] Meet Tinsley Hale, American movie star and part time TOTP presenter.
Meet Damon Albarn, the pretty boy frontman for Blur. Meet a host of other real and unreal characters that made up Britain's music scene and L.A.'s teen...
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"You're breaking up with me?!"
Tinsley couldn't believe that this was the first time she was on an actual date at Spago. And that this was how it was going.
"You're breaking up with me?" Tinsley repeated, incredulous. "After all the shit I've dealt with, all the things I accepted, all the fucking time I put in, this is what we're doing? You're breaking up with me, in fucking Spago of all places?"
"I just think we should see other people," Mark said. "I mean, we're both really young, and good looking, and have a lot to offer-"
"I'm gonna stop you right fucking there," Tinsley said. "I have a lot to offer. I have a movie with Christian Slater coming out this fall and a role reprisal in the next Wayne's World movie. And the sitcom I've been for the last seven years got renewed. You have a rap sheet longer than my filmography, a high chance of getting dropped by Calvin Klein if you ever have your nose broken, a penchant for cheating and trying to hide it piss-poorly, and extreme delusions of grandeur about how fucking heroic you are. And I was willing to be gracious and kind and accept all of that. How in the actual fuck are you dumping me?"
"Well, you being kind of a massive bitch is coming to mind right about now," Mark grumbled, slouching in his chair.
"Mmhmm," Tinsley said. "Okay. True. Didn't you fucking blind a Vietnamese guy because you used to be a extreme racist? I'm not saying you can't have changed your ways, but when you've got baggage like that, bitchy shouldn't be in your turn-offs list. Shit, nothing should be on that list in your case, considering you have 'reformed racist,' 'did prison time,' 'gained another set of assault charges for handling a racist with fists after said reformation,' 'cheats on girlfriend with supermodels who share blow even though I'm supposed to be drug-free,' 'under five foot nine,' and 'has skid marks in Calvin Klein underwear' as what you're bringing to the fucking table."
