Much Ado About Britpop

12 May 1993 - Blakes Hotel, South Kensington, London

"You know, Alex had a point tonight," Juniper said, once the girls came back in and stumbled into her room.

"About what, American girls or me being a cunt," Tinsley asked, tossing her beret carelessly onto a footrest and collapsing onto the sofa.

"You were kind of flirting with Damon," Juniper said. "And he was definitely flirting back. I mean, you told me he and Justine have an open relationship. Maybe you should go for it. You know, for kicks. It'll drive Mark nuts."

"What if Mark isn't the one I want to drive nuts," Tinsley asked.

"Hey, look, maybe Drew will get jealous too," Juniper said. "If not, making Mark go crazy and then not getting back together with him will be a great consolation prize."

"Don't be ridiculous," Tinsley said. "Yeah, Damon and I, we bonded, okay? I don't hate him anymore. I might go as far as to say I like him. But even if their relationship is open, it seems ultra-sleazy to do that to Justine, who I've been friends with for longer, and besides, I don't really have a crush on him, and I don't think I'm his type. Some guys prefer brunettes, you know?"

"All too well," Juniper pointed out. "I mean, hello, Brian and Tiffani."

"Oh, Juni, I'm sorry," Tinsley said. "I totally shouldn't mix E and tequila again. Between this and last time, it's confirmed that combo makes me act like an obtuse guy."

"I mean, there's other examples from your life," Juniper said, "like Corey and Vanessa. Not to be a bitch. All I mean is the era of the blonde died after Cindy Crawford, I think."

"Nah," Tinsley argued. "Look at Pam Anderson and all the other girls on Baywatch. Or Claudia Schiffer and Anna Nicole Smith. You and me, we're just having a little bit of trouble picking the right guys."

"Tell me about it," Juniper said. "You always spot the truly awful ones, though. I don't know what I was thinking hooking up with Alex."

"I get it," Tinsley said. "When you only see him in pictures and from a distance, he's clearly gorgeous. It's just that he set off my 'scuzzball' alert. Yours is still developing, that's all."

"I'm so glad you're the one who came to London with me," Juniper said. "Drew would have brought Jamie and they'd be all loved up, and Christina would have fit in too well with the intellectual crowd and wouldn't have wanted to party too much. You know how practical she gets with us, because she thinks of you, me and Drew as kids still. But you read people so well and you know exactly how to handle guys. Like if you weren't an actress, I could see you being a phony psychic or a detective or something."

"Thanks, I guess, although I'm not sure the Madame Cleo route fits me," Tinsley said.

"...Are you really not into Damon, even a little bit?"

"I mean, yeah, he's pretty," Tinsley admits. "Pretty eyes, pretty mouth, pretty hair. And he's surprisingly funny. And he definitely has a real presence. ...Shit, Juniper, I'm just going to be his friend along with Justine's. I don't wanna go there."

"Are you sure about that," Juniper asked. "You guys look really good together."

"Really? I mean, being all blonde and blue-eyed, I figure we look like grungy, bottom-of-the-toy box versions of Barbie and Ken," Tinsley replied. "Like technically, we look like a pair, but a very visually boring, twins kind of way."

"It's not really about appearances, it's about chemistry," Juniper said. "And like it or not, you two have it."

"We're TV actresses," Tinsley said. "How many freaking guys have we had chemistry with between the two of us?"

"On-screen chemistry and palpable, real world chemistry are totally different," Juniper argued. "You know that. You and David sizzle on screen, but you're like brother and sister in real life. Brian and I managed to have chemistry even though I hated him through filming that third season. I'm talking about something totally different."

"Juni, you're going Tennessee State Debate Champion on me," Tinsley said. "There's nothing between me and Damon, you just want to prove a point."

"Maybe," Juniper said. "Maybe that's all it is. But maybe I'm right. And if it turns out I am, I'm holding it over you for life."

"Ooh, I'm so afraid," Tinsley said.