8. Glasses

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“You haven't even found yourself, How will you find your profession?”

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“You haven't even found yourself, How will you find your profession?”

His words hit deep inside me. My brain freezes and only one question rings in my head.

Who am I?

“I don't know…” I whispered.

What am I?

“Who is Amaira without the Mehra in her name?” Abhimaan asked while he leaned forward.

His perceptive gaze brings to mind every cell in my body that I have been searching for answers to.

“My surname has nothing to do with me.” My breathing suddenly becomes uneven.

“It has everything to do with you. It does come with a burden and a gut-wrenching fear that manifests on your face.”

He seems so confident, as if he's seeing through my soul. Nobody ever cared about what I felt, They couldn't understand me.

Or maybe I did not let them.

My brain is where I store my fear and insecurities, and regardless of the harm they cause, I still provide them a comfortable place to live in my mind.

Self-doubts settled in me with solace while my heart suffered every single moment.

An unsettling feeling is always pumping in my chest, slowly dying by the burden of responsibilities.

What do I want to be when I grow up?

Teacher, Doctor, Engineer, Chef, CEO, Businessman, Pilot, Manager, Designer, Assistant, Director, Actor, Cameraman, Cabin Crew, Photographer, Baker, Librarian, Politician, Banker, Painter, Artist and so many fucking options, yet I don't know.

“I don't know.” I whisper, A haze forming in my mind separating me from the ability to think.

“It's fine. You are 17, don't you think you are so young to be worrying so much about the future?” He speaks.

No, “What I do now will decide my future. This is my time to worry, so I can have a laid-back life.”

I am 17, this is my time to think about my future, or else I will be poor for the rest of my life.

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