Black Poison

21. 'Ladybug' ?

21. 'Ladybug' ?

"Hey Ben, that girl you were with last night, she was pretty cute."

"People aren't cute. Kittens are cute; small animals are cute, people aren't."

"Whatever man."

Danny was the tenth member of the team to approach me about my exploits the previous night. I was still hoping that everyone would forget about it, be more concerned about football, or curing their hangovers, but they found it in themselves to keep the story flowing around them. So I had replied with an attack on the use of 'cute' as a human adjective, which I really didn't think it was, and this usually threw the person asking off the scent.

"What's the mood for?" Jay confronted me as we headed out to train, we would train in the morning, then we had our first two games of the tournament in the afternoon.

"What mood?" I retorted, trying to seem as though I was concentrating on something else so that Jay would leave me alone.

"Nothing wrong with the girl you hooked up with last night-"

"We didn't hook up, it was a mistake."

"How's it a mistake? You're single, you're-"

"Just drop it," I snapped "let's focus on the game."

"Whatever you say dude."

I was completely occupied on other things, so I didn't pay much attention at training, and Mines asked me to speak to him at the end of the session.

"What's up Ben?" He asked, packing away the balls we'd been using into a black bag.

"Nothing."

"You seem preoccupied."

"Just thinking, about stuff."

"Then you'll have to sit out the first game-"

"What!"

"Maybe it'll focus you a bit more, but we've worked really hard to get here, and we aren't crashing out because your head is some place else."

"It's not, I'm fine, I can play."

"We'll I'm the coach, so I think I'll decide on that."

I turned on my heel and stormed off the pitch and caught up to the others as they were entering the hotel.

"What's up?" Tom asked "what did Mines want?"

"I'm not playing the first game," I spat

"What? How come?"

"Ask Mines," I shrugged

"But your our best-" Tom's voice trailed off as I bounded up the stairs up to my room, I really didn't care what he had to say, there was nothing he could do to change anything. Suddenly my near perfect life was crashing around my ankles.

* * * * *

"Dude."

Banging on my hotel door.

"Dude!"

I opened my eyes and realised I must have dozed off, I scrambled to the door to find Matt fully ready for the game.

"Woah sleepy head! The game starts in ten."

"Shit," I moaned, turning and pulling my gear from different parts of the room.

"Well I don't want to be late too," Matt smiled and motioned to my panic of running around the room "see you down there Sherlock."

I hurried out onto the pitch as our team were walking out onto the pitch.

"Good job you weren't starting," Mines looked over and pointed to the bench "take a seat Ben."

I sat and watched as the game started. We were playing a team from Berlin, Germany, and from what I could tell they were pretty good. At half time we were still drawing 0-0 and Mines decided it was time for me to come on and play. Matt came off, as he looked pretty tired, and I got to play for the first time in the tournament. For some reason I just really couldn't focus on the game; everything that was happening with Mollie and kissing the girl at the hotel was all I could think about. With barely noticing the German team had scored, and we were losing.

"Ben," Mines signalled from the bench, and crazily I found myself being brought back off for Matt, even though I had just started.

"Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on out there?" Mines demanded "you were awful, sit down."

Somehow the team managed to score at the end of the game, and we drew 1-1. We had another game in a couple of hours against the team from England.

"You aren't playing," Mines told me "until you sort your act out."

"But it's against the English team-"

"and we need our best players, which isn't you at the moment."

I stood still, stunned, and turned on my heel to follow the rest of the team back to the hotel.

"Hey Ben," Tom called to me from ahead

"Yeah, what?" I asked

"Sorry about the game, you'll do better in the next one."

"I won't. I'm not playing."

"Really? Well when you do play you'll show Mines."

"Maybe."

"Hey, look at this," he stooped down to ground level "it's a ladybug."

"Ladybird," I muttered

"a what?" He laughed, "how the hell is it a bird?"

I couldn't be bothered to argue about wether it was a Ladybug or a Ladybird, although on second thoughts they really were quite the opposite of birds. But the more pressing matter was that I wasn't playing for the team, and I had kissed a girl from the hotel. I was hoping that because we were playing the others would have forgot about the kiss, but my hopes were quashed when I encountered Jay in the hotel foyer.

"I know you didn't really get to play," he acknowledged "but how about that girl you kissed, maybe she could make you feel better if you know what I'm saying?"

"No Jay, just, just fuck off."

"Wow, dude, no need," Jay frowned and walked off.

I really wasn't in the mood for anyone bringing up the sore subject again, and I hoped that I could make everyone forget about it before we got back to school. Back to Mollie. Suddenly something occurred to me for some reason. It had been a few weeks back after a party that Anna and I had sat on a street curb drinking vodka.

It sounded rather sad thinking about it, but suddenly I remembered what she had told me; she had used to be Mollie's best friend. Anna had told me that there was a secret about Mollie, and after Mollie and I had got to know each other I thought that It could have been her eating disorder - which I had helped her to get over - or her Mother's illness.

However now I realised that when Anna was Mollie's best friend was before any of her problems with her eating or her Mother had started. She must have another secret, and for some bizarre reason I felt that whatever it was may drive Mollie to stop eating again, make her lose hope in her Mother's recovery, and it could all become a catastrophe if she found out I had kissed another girl.

I also realised that I still barely knew Mollie, and if I could get back home with no-one telling her what had happened I could get to know her a lot better, learn whatever it may be she still felt she had to keep from me, and perhaps I could tell her about the kiss some time in the future.

I started to feel better about myself, and what I could do to avoid Mollie finding out, but suddenly Matt ran past me with his phone out.

"You should see this," Matt smiled "Danny texted his friend back at school a video he took on his cell of you kissing that girl, it's all over the school."

Holy shit.