Because You Told Me So
From the very many sleepless nights of Ashley Atteberry
(Curtain arises to a Landry store in the middle of the night. A lone light is streaming through the store window lighting a silhouette of a figure and several racks of clothing. A light shines illuminating the shop up. The face of the plastic lifeless mannequin. A man decked out in a black ski mask back pants black shirt carrying a the flashlight in one hand and a radio in the other. The low light projects across the room as he puts the flashlight on a shelf. He stealthily walks across the room towards the far right of the room to a wall. Behind his back the mannequin comes to life stretching jumping up on a counter laying down. The man starts groaning his hands start shaking. His hands fumble with the radio and finally turns it on)
Robber: Unh, Bradley? *Static* Bradley! *Static, his voice shakes frightened* Bradley?
Bradley: Good God. SHUT UP! I told you not to use real names, idiot! Now would you calm down and open the damn wall, get to the diamonds on the other side and get your ass back in the truck before the cops get here!
Robber: But why do I have to go through the lingerie store to get to the diamond store next door? Couldn’t Katie just cut power to that place instead of this one?
Bradley: Because I said so! Did I ask you your opinion? I didn’t ask your opinion! Katie can only stall for so much time so get butt in gear and get my diamonds. You have less than ten minutes.
Robber: (takes a few calming breaths) Okay, okay you can do this.
JJ:Oh that’s real original. (Robber shouts whirling around clutching his heart while staring at the former mannequin sit on the counter looking at her nails complete unperturbed) You are robbing a store in the middle of the night decked out in black. (JJ sits up to stare at the still stunned Robber) You couldn’t even make it interesting could you?
Robber: Who are you?!
JJ: You’re asking me? (JJ jumps off the counter crossing the room to the Robber)
Robber: You are not supposed to be here at night! Nobody is!
JJ: So what gives you the right? (silence) That’s what I thought.(JJ looks around her) Jumpin Jesus you’re boring. Not even a gun! (Robber starts patting himself down.) How can you call yourself a proper criminal when…(Pulls a gun out to point it directly at her forehead. JJ sounding bored) Oh look there it is. Would you mind getting that thing out of my face.
Robber: You’re not supposed to be here!
JJ: So you keep telling me.
Robber:L-l-leave now or I’ll-I’ll- (JJ huffs impatiently as she grabs a metal hanger and shoves it through her arm)
JJ: Or you’ll what? What now? Now Jumpin Jesus get that thing out of my face! (Robber Drops gun) Thank you, that’s better. Now since it seems I am now in control of this little situation how about you tell me…(static comes over the radio)
Bradley: What’s taking you so long! You only have seven minutes left! Hurry Up! *static*
JJ: Well! That was rude! (starts to walk over to the radio)
Robber: What are you…(Sees JJ picking up the radio.) No don’t do that! (JJ Hold up one finger to Robber and clears her voice)
YOU ARE READING
Short Stories
HumorA collection of my short stories and plays that may or may not have anything to do with each other. ENJOY!
